What is the true meaning of Valentine’s Day? Is it the rampant consumerism grabbing hold of your shirt and pushing your face down into the toilet urging you to “buy more to show your love” or it will give your heart the dreaded metaphorical swirlie? @@I REALLY want this to be “Swirly.”@@Or does it have the function of bringing you and your significant other closer together?

To discover the solution, I went to the fountain of knowledge. No, I’m not talking about the bathroom. I went to the other fountain of knowledge: the bar. Who else would know what the true meaning of Valentine’s Day but the very people who want to drink until they can’t feel feelings anymore? They are the best kind of people. My people.

The bar is the place where the “waiting” ones can sit and contemplate life, or the “lonely” ones to cast a gaze out across the bar, yearning for a savior to appear through the alcohol-fueled haze. I was the latter. Chris Doty@@http://directory.uoregon.edu/telecom/directory.jsp?p=findpeople%2Ffind_results&m=student&d=person&b=name&s=Chris+Doty@@ was the former. Doty sat at the bar next to me. He is bespectacled man in his late 20s and already a drink in. Coming out of the swinging saloon door to the kitchen, the bartender apologizes to him for not noticing he was empty.

“That’s just like Valentine’s Day,” Doty said. “It’s just me, so I don’t matter.”

“Is being alone on Valentine’s Day a fate worse than death?” I asked.

“It could be worse. You could be married,” replied Chad Dooley, bartender at Rennie’s Landing.@@http://www.linkedin.com/pub/chad-dooley/46/275/536@@

“In Finland, it’s Friend Day,” Doty said.@@http://www.helsinkitimes.fi/news/index.php/lifestyle/1305-v-for-valentine@@

This was a disturbing development. Already the cynical words began to fly. I should have another beer to make certain I am sufficiently fortified for my quest. With my constitution bolstered, I made my way into the thicket of tables and chairs.

Byron Hetrick@@http://directory.uoregon.edu/telecom/directory.jsp?p=findpeople%2Ffind_results&m=staff&d=person&b=name&s=Byron+Hetrick@@ sat with two other friends at a small table upstairs. A half-full pitcher of Hefeweizen rested among them.

“I think it’s a day to show appreciation for those around you, but I’m at Rennie’s at the moment, so …” Hetrick said.

To the right of me at the vinyl bench was grad student Michelle Lu.@@http://directory.uoregon.edu/telecom/directory.jsp?p=findpeople%2Ffind_results&m=student&d=person&b=name&s=Michelle+Lu@@ Recalling the moments of youth when all of the students in a room at public school would give each other valentines, she said, “It was very egalitarian when we were in elementary school. But it really doesn’t mean anything now.”

When asked about the concept of marriage, she shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

“It’s an antiquated custom,” she said. “People of our generation don’t feel like they need a definition of commitment to stay together.”

“It’s bullshit,” Hetrick added.

Later, I’m back downstairs at the bar again. I’m three bears down (I mean beers. Why am I here again?), and I still haven’t found the true meaning of Valentine’s Day. Panic was beginning to set in.  Calm down. Calm down. A shot of Fireball will do the trick. To the left of me sit two young women, Kayle Price@@http://directory.uoregon.edu/telecom/directory.jsp?p=findpeople%2Ffind_results&m=student&d=person&b=name&s=Kayle+Price@@ and Sierra Marzullo.@@no name coming up anywhere – directory, facebook, search engine (optimization)@@

“It’s kind of overrated, but, I think it’s a good day to appreciate those around you,” Marzullo said.

Chiming in, Price adds, “It’s also a day of rampant consumerism.”

Good god. She took the words right out of my mouth.

Squinting down at my notepad scoreboard (When did I buy two of these? It’s easier to write notes when you’re not trying to hit a moving target), we have a few points for appreciation and a few for bullshit. Honestly, I stopped counting since my vision started to blur. But the truth has become crystal clear: A thing has only as much meaning as you give to it. If you’re lucky enough to have somebody special, maybe it means enough to do a little something. If not, well, I’ll see you at the bar. First round is on you.