Over winter break, I realized three things about myself that I believe you may relate to: 1) I have a love/hate relationship with shopping, 2) I don’t like to sit and do nothing and 3) family time is the best time (sometimes).
The first few weeks of break were pretty normal for me. I saw friends I hadn’t seen in months, I slept a lot, I finally got to do stuff I wanted to do — but most importantly, I went shopping. I never really considered myself a shopaholic, but over break, I was sickened to realize that I was.@@heh heh@@
The weeks leading up to the Christmas holiday had me racing all over southeast Portland to find the perfect gift for everyone on my list, all of which I ended up finding in one place: the mall, which should really just be called “Crazy Town: For Psycho Moms With Strollers And Morons.” My inner monologue was constantly saying mall-related things like, “Move, child,” or “What went through your insanely small brain when you decided to bring Grandma shopping?” and “Who the %?*! brings a dog?” I’m shocked that I didn’t snap when the sixth person who claimed they didn’t speak English — a shopping genius tactic — cut me in line.
I did find that shopping alone was much easier than shopping with a gal pal. Reason being: I wasn’t trying any clothes on, I had a list prepared and I knew exactly where to go. The only reason you need to bring a friend to go shopping with you is when you need to find out how your body looks in a new dress with all your holiday weight squeezed in.@@hee hee@@
A few great ways to pack on the pounds during the holidays are to lay in your bed all day, eat all of Grandma’s cookies, never touch your running shoes and drink so many glasses of spiked eggnog that you begin to look like Old Saint Nick.
I found that after the first day of relaxation (watching endless episodes of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians”@@http://www.eonline.com/on/shows/kardashians/index.html@@ and “Kourtney & Kim Take New York”),@@http://www.eonline.com/on/shows/kourtney_and_kim_kardashian/index.html@@ I was already bored out of my mind — and lost about half my brain cells. So, I began to fill up all my time with friends, pointless errands, tanning sessions and the gym.
With a month break from school, I calculated that I actually had one day of complete nothingness. I didn’t shower, change my clothes or see any daylight.@@hahahaha@@ It was awful! I felt like some sort of cave monster.@@lol!@@ I vowed never to do it again that break. I decided to go out and catch up with friends and, most importantly, family.
The holidays are stressful for everyone, but when all these stressors get together and begin to argue about who got whom what and the ever-popular, “I told you we weren’t exchanging presents this year!” the stress level of the entire bunch reaches a high for the year.
My stressor came in the form of baking cookies with Grandma. That’s right. I became stressed baking with a little old lady. I’ve gone over the river and through the woods (literally) to Grandma’s to bake Christmas cookies for years. This year, we decided we’d bake some Almond Roca candy. Bad idea. I have finally reached the age when Grandma lets me spread the scolding hot melted sugar onto the almonds and guess what her first-born grandchild does: burn the absolute shit out of her knuckles.
However, my first reaction was not to wash the hot molten candy off, it was to lick it off.@@”Ha ha!” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdCUpiI1MSA@@ Thus, my upper lip also burned. Immediately, my knuckles grew blisters the size of Skittles.@@Skittles reference@@ I went into the doctor the next day and was told I had third-degree burns. I became the running joke in the family and the doctor’s office over the holidays. Welcome home from college to me!@@hahaha@@
I returned to Eugene with a feeling of exhaustion, anticipation and freedom. Although I discovered that resting wasn’t my cup of tea, I still enjoyed spending time with my family and friends — as I hope you did as well.
Winter term has officially begun! Here’s to many days of darkness, successful endeavors and, most of all, memorable nights — or not so memorable. Enjoy the beginning of the term and hit the ground running. I’ll be back when we find out what happens over the weekend.