Within the constant flurry of school, work and socialization of university life, a quiet minority is taking the time to grieve.
The Student Grief Support Group meets every Thursday (excluding finals week) for an hour-and-a-half. The group is designed specifically for students who have lost a parent or parents and is run by Rosemary Bernstein and Candice “Candee” Mottweiler, two fourth-year psychology graduate students. Psychology professor Karyn Angell is their clinical supervisor.
“I feel like it’s very nonjudgmental inside the group,” said Brandi Freeman, a senior majoring in psychology. “…it’s a really safe place to be completely honest about anything that’s happening.”
The SGSG’s first official meeting was spring term of last year, although the idea for the group had been around since Bernstein and Mottweiller were in their second year. Both were interested in starting a group for students grieving deceased parents because they noticed a lack of support groups for young adults in the community.
“Candee and I both lost a parent. We both lost our fathers, and we’ve worked in bereavement specifically for kids who have lost a parent ever since,” Bernstein said. “It’s been a very personally rewarding and motivating thing for both of us.”
According to Bernstein, the group is currently made up of 4-6 students.
“I think I expected it to be more like a whine fest – a lot of crying and maybe not necessarily problem solving,” Freeman said.
Although the group is technically limited to students who have lost a parent, Freeman is a special case. Freeman was raised by her grandmother, and decided to apply and was accepted into the SGSG after her grandmother went into a vegetative state after experiencing seven strokes over the course of three days.
Freeman has long since changed her opinion of the group, saying that the experience has been extremely helpful in terms of teaching her how to process grief (deal with things in stages or take things a day at a time) and has given her a chance to build a large amount of trust between herself and the other members.
“I think the other girls in the group have helped me realize that you can still do things in life even once you lose somebody because these girls are still going to school and they’re not letting it control what they do on a daily basis,” Freeman said.
Although Freeman and Bernstein enjoy the tight-knit nature of the group, both hope it will grow.
“I think general bereavement and grieving a parent on your own in college can be an extremely isolating experience,” Bernstein said. “My, I guess, biggest goal would be to bring students with that experience together to kind of create a space and a community where they can share their experiences.”