Here we are – after more than a year of mudslinging, bile, lies, angry preachers, medical records, secret Muslim ties, POW camps, plumbers and pit bulls, it’s finally over. Volunteers will no longer harass us with voter registration inquiries and we won’t have to see that damn clip of Tina Fey dressed as Sarah Palin holding a flute anymore. With all the class and decorum of a fight in a middle school girls’ bathroom, we the people have exercised the democratic process and now finally can go back to what we were doing before. Say what you will about England, but they didn’t have to put up with this crap from King George.
Some of you probably won’t be thrilled with the outcome of the election, but at least take solace in the fact that the whole sordid affair is finally behind us. An election, like puberty, is a highly important period of change, and just like puberty, it’s a highly unpleasant experience we’d all prefer to forget once it’s over. It makes sense this election that hinged so heavily on change was a particularly nasty one. There has been little debate that change is necessary; the point of contention has been which candidate is best poised to offer it. As it turns out, that candidate is Barack Obama. To those of you disappointed with this outcome, I have a few words of wisdom to offer.
The United States presidency is most definitely a winding road. For the past 100 years, the Democrats and Republicans have traded control of the White House at roughly 10- to 20-year intervals. Knowing this brings a certain fatalistic quality to every election – history has proven that whichever party wins will be unseated in a matter of years, only to return eight to 16 years after that. That’s the beauty of our two-party system: Sooner or later, everybody gets a chance to drive the America Bus.
I’m sorry, Republicans. Although I am a bleeding heart liberal, I can sympathize with your cause – my roommate, ex-girlfriend and godparents are all Republicans. Thanks to them, I understand the validity of small government and fiscal responsibility. I feel your pain at having lost such an important election, but in defense of the Democrats, your party has been driving the bus for the past eight years and it’s about time somebody else got a chance at the wheel. To be honest, Bush hasn’t been driving the America Bus so much as he’s been repeatedly crashing it. As much as we’d all like to forget his misrepresentation of the Republican Party and start over with a clean slate, that’s clearly impossible. Your time to shine will come again and hopefully that candidate will represent your party with the intelligence and leadership it deserves. The next Abraham Lincoln or Teddy Roosevelt could be waiting in the wings to take over the GOP’s reins.
What we have to remember is that no one candidate can reunite America alone; we all have to help out. Don’t get off the bus just because you disagree with the driver. Wait long enough to see if he’s going where you want to go. Keep this in mind if you’re down in the dumps about what happened yesterday. Our next president has to rev up the bus before he starts his four-year road trip. I think that’s something we can all agree with.
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