There is one reason not to buy Kid Rock’s new album: Kid Rock.
Kid Rock sells CDs based not on their quality, but on his bravado. The music on his third CD, “Cocky,” is disposable. There has always been a place for pointless music, so Kid Rock has found a temporary home. The reason one brand of pointless music succeeds over another is its packaged image, and that’s the problem.
Kid Rock’s image is gross! And I’m not just talking about how ugly the guy is, I’m talking about the arrogant, womanizing, substance-abusing jerk he proudly proclaims himself to be — in every song.
All the songs on “Cocky” are about him and his exploits, which can be summed up with the following words: “booze,” “bitches,” “hoes,” “tits” and “ass” (BBHTA). In the song “Trucker Anthem,” Kid Rock states: “You want to fuck with me/don’t test the odds/cause your arms are too short to box with God.” Though Kid Rock likes to hail himself as some musical deity, real rock musicians have more to do than blabber about the BBHTA. Self-indulgence was and is a big part of musician’s lives and careers, but it should not be the centerpiece of their music.
Kid Rock picked up the BBHTA tradition from old-school rappers such as L.L. Cool J and Run-D.M.C. He likes to bring up how he is “keepin’ it real” and paying respect to his rock influences, such as Lynyrd Skynyrd and Led Zeppelin, while at the same time incorporating this hip-hop style. Hooey. That is not reality. That is pure pornographic male fantasy.
The appalling “bonus track” featuring Snoop Dogg sums up everything wrong with Kid Rock. The track features the “artists” rapping in grotesque fashion about how they treat women. The line “Hoes get fucked/ They don’t get kissed” is only the tip of the profane iceberg. If there was any quality on this CD, this one track would take it all away.
The unfortunate truth in all of this is that Kid Rock can’t be dismissed as an idiot. He is conscious of everything he is saying, and he must keep saying it because he thinks it is either fun, unimportant, profitable or some combination of the three. I’m sure he knows people buy his CD because they like hearing him talk like this. What the hell is wrong with us? There should be no market for this.
Ultimately, I don’t blame Kid Rock for the atrocities of “Cocky.” I blame every person who ponies up the $13 to let him continue to exist. There is much better music out there to shake up a room or oversized four-wheel drive. Go buy some Linkin Park or Rage Against the Machine to soothe the angry-white-guy pain. If anything, go check out the older rock influences Kid Rock gives so much lip service.