HOLLYWOOD — Sure, the symbolic 50-foot-tall white Hollywood lettering atop Mt. Lee may be prominently displayed in the Trojans’ backyard, but there’s no denying its presence at Autzen Stadium.
The weekly college football theater that continues to be on display in the 35-year-old fishbowl is a testament to how important screenwriters are in the making of a gripping movie.
What? You think Oregon’s 24-22 victory over USC Saturday night was real? Folks, that was about as “real” as Temptation Island. It was Hollywood manufactured. It had to be.
There’s no other logical explanation for what has taken place on the OmniTurf and now NexTurf of Autzen over the Ducks’ 23-game home winning streak.
Just when you think the writers have run out of all the juicy storylines for this highly rated program, they come up with this, and it’s not even sweeps week yet.
Let’s begin where Saturday night’s game began: in the pregame warm-ups. A three hour drama needs a strong opening to hook its viewers to stick around, and what could be stronger than an all-out brawl between teams?
At 6:27 p.m., 48 minutes before the scheduled kick-off, the Ducks were going through their normal pregame warm-ups when all of a sudden the Trojans stormed onto the field. They did so in a way that the Ducks felt was disrespectful, and well, let’s let Oregon cornerback Rashad Bauman tell us what went down.
“S.C. ran through our drills, man, and they did some jaw-jacking and then we did some jaw-jacking, and then [USC’s Antuan] Simmons ran up on me and tried to throw a punch at me or something. My helmet was knocked off, and I answered back, and it was on.
“I mean, everybody came and got into it. Joey was there, you’d think the quarterback would be the main one standing there in the back but he was mixing it up. Coach Bellotti was there. It brought us closer, it united us a lot to see the guys have each other’s backs like that.
“That was college football at its best. Nothing serious was going to happen. I mean, it’s not like we were going to kill each other or really beat each other up. We were all eager and riled up, and it showed. It’s S.C., baby. That was intense.”
Without a doubt, writing in a pregame skirmish between the teams was a brilliant storyline. If you weren’t sure whether you wanted to stick around for the show, you knew at that moment that you had to because the plot twists could come when least expected.
Such as Oregon’s first score of the game, a picture perfect 35-yard touchdown pass from Onterrio Smith to Justin Peelle.
Or how about the Steve Smith story? The senior cornerback who has had a rollercoaster of a month after a poor outing against Wisconsin, comes up huge with three interceptions off Carson Palmer, including a 33-yard return for a touchdown.
Tack on another Oregon score, and suddenly, the writers make you believe that the 21-6 Ducks lead will hold for good and that Oregon will finally be able to put a quality team away.
But this is where it gets good, of course. And this is where those raucous 45,765 spectators begin to form sweaty palms as the sputtering Oregon offense fails to produce for the next 27 minutes and 44 seconds.

Like a thrilling movie that picks and chooses its time for the surprise attack, the flowing contest is suddenly jolted by a 75-yard touchdown run by USC’s Sultan McCullough. Then a 93-yard scoring pass from Palmer to Kareem Kelly. Then a 40-yard field goal to give USC a 22-21 fourth quarter lead.
Suddenly, we’re witnessing not just a close game, but perhaps the end to the fabled Autzen win streak and the end to the Ducks’ national title hopes.
But a great character or two is needed in times like this to pull the story to its conclusion.
First, there’s the obvious choice: veteran Joey Harrington, reprising his role as the reincarnation of John Elway and suddenly completing 5-of-6 crisp passes and driving 61 yards down the field to attempt his eighth career fourth-quarter comeback.
Then there’s freshman Jared Siegel, the newcomer. Recall that 38-yard field goal that Siegel missed in the second quarter and then add that to the fact that he was replaced for two extra points and a separate field goal attempt later on.
And then watch.
Watch as Harrington catches the snap and sets it down, and as Siegel boots it with his right foot, and as USC defenders leap to try to block another kick, and as the silence that grips the stadium for a moment is replaced by pure pandemonium as the ball sails through the posts, and has Siegel runs around like the youngster that he is, and as the final seconds tick away with the Ducks storming the field with helmets raised in triumph, and as Harrington twirls around in circles in the air not caring how he looks like but just caring that he won, and then watch as Onterrio Smith and Bauman rub their hands over the end zone grass together and scream, “Our house! This is our house!”
And watch as the players leave the field and the fans jump around, and watch as the screen slowly fades to black, and watch as the credits begin to scroll every so gently.
And finally, listen.
Listen to these words, “Stay tuned for scenes from the next episode of Oregon football.”
You’ll regret it if you don’t.