Nine months ago I received a notice in the mail from the University Commons. It told me who my roommate would be and how I could get in contact with him. His name, Joshua Medina, and his phone number were among the items listed. It also noted that he was part of a transfer program for New Mexico State University.
Great, I thought, a guy who doesn’t understand English. I will probably have to spend all my days explaining to him the intricacies of “there,” “their” and “they’re.” We’ll never get along.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Over the last two and a half terms he and I have become much more than roommates. We have formed a friendship that will stand the test of time. Day in and day out he and I have not only been able to make do together, we have thrived.
We have adjusted to each other’s quirks and have turned what could have been an OK situation into a great one. He puts up with my shower stall singing of the shampoo ingredients, and I tolerate his never knowing what is and is not recyclable. He puts up with my gag-inducing cooking, and I deal with him leaving the house before the sun has thought about rising.
We have done our share of fun things together as well. During winter term we instituted a point system. Whenever one of us outsmarted the other a point was tallied. Whoever had the most points at the end of the week got the win and had bragging rights for the next seven days.
Sadly though, that tradition ended when our makeshift scoreboard fell off the wall.
The most interesting thing I’ve learned, though, is the proper way to give a “hope you get some” ass pat. Trust me, there is a proper way. First, the pat must be firm, but not hard. It’s a pat, not a spank. Also, for full effect the pat must be in the direct center of the ass. Too far to the left or right will completely nullify the result. Most importantly, though, is the timing of the pat. Pat too early and its powers will wane early in the evening. Pat too late and its actions will not be felt until long after the recipient goes to sleep. With a rate of one successful pat to two failures, I’m patting .333 on the year.
I could have gotten any of the thousands of students at the University as a roommate, but I got Josh. I got the guy who will give you the shirt, shoes and coat off his back just to make you feel a little better. I got the guy who makes sure the house is spotless after I return from a weekend in Portland. This is the guy who won’t let me go shopping without him lest I “become his maid.”
The day is slowly approaching when Josh will leave me and return home to New Mexico. That will easily be the saddest day of my last 12 months. I will miss him and everything he and I have done together. And to think, I thought our relationship would be bad.