For more than 30 years, the United States found itself in the midst of a gender revolution: women were burning bras, hiring baby-sitters and taking on the world of corporate America. The only problem was the inevitable backlash that occurred when women realized that in joining the masculine world, they may have inevitably devalued the historical traditions of femininity. Wives who wanted to stay home and raise their children felt oppressed because they had not chosen to enter the then-masculine world of commerce and public employment. Feminists have for years worked to reform and reinterpret the women’s movement of the 1970s.
Whereas women have been engaged in an open dialogue considering their gender, their society and themselves for more than a century, men are just beginning a similar dialogue concerning their own sex.
The previous pop culture models of masculinity, such as James Dean, Sylvester Stallone and Rob Zombie, were hyper-masculine examples of what young boys could one day hope to become. Traits such as strength, anger and almost-arrogant individuality were the makings of a Healthy Man. Nowadays, we see the effects of the emo musical/fashion movement, and the popularity of a gay culture, which has lead to the idea of metrosexuality, as well as icons from shows such as “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.”
However, as our current news media like to point out, the men’s revolution is far from over. Questioning gender expectations is a good place to start, but like the women’s movement, a conversation about men and sex and society must be ongoing.
A recent dialogue regarding masculinity is embodied by a series of books from author William Pollack; with titles such as “Real Boys’ Voices” and “Real Boys – Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood.” In the latter book, Pollack argues that young boys are still socialized into believing that they must suppress their emotions in order to grow into successful men. This process of masculinization has resulted in a generation of young men who are afraid to show weakness for fear of losing their claim to masculinity. Pollack wants parents and teachers to encourage boys’ feminine traits, such as thinking about and discussing their emotional selves.
Although he is in favor of feminizing young men, Pollack in no way takes a stand against masculinity. In fact, Pollack has encouraged Reform Jewish synagogues to offer some male-only religious services, in order to fight the decline of young Jewish men involved in the reform movement. Although the reform movement is known for advocating gender equality within the religion, Pollack explains that same-sex services are a good way to create a space wherein young men can find a social and religious solidarity. Many women in the liberal Jewish movement have been creating and exploring that space for decades, through female Rabbis and religious services that encourage participatory prayer and the sharing of spiritual, emotional endeavors.
In the same fashion as providing same-sex religious opportunities, a recent Newsweek article commented on the benefits of same-sex education. At one Colorado middle school, educators conducted an experiment wherein 50 sixth-graders were placed into either all-male or all-female classrooms for a portion of their school day. By the end of the study, it was concluded that the class full of young women had the highest achievement scores, followed by the class of all young men, followed by the co-ed classroom. Like Pollack’s suggestion for encouraging religious involvement, it appears that a single-sex environment will increase educational involvement as well.
As the dialogue regarding gender continues into the 21st century, one can only hope that men will be as quick as Pollack to tout the benefits of feminine men while still recognizing that a healthy masculinity deserves the chance to thrive, be it through religious services or perhaps within the classroom. Some of those experiences may even involve discussing what it means to be male. Mutual testing of societal gender barriers, just as occurred through women’s groups during the feminist movement, is another possibility. Gender solidarity makes it easier to explore and question the rules laid out by society in regard to what each sex should and shouldn’t do. For men to appreciate the benefits of a modern, increasingly feminized world, they must first be comfortable knowing that to be a man is not necessarily to be masculine. Then again, sometimes it is. Learning and praying and getting closer to other men is a sure way to produce a comfortable solidarity strong enough that men are not afraid to move away from a hyper-masculine model and toward a modern, more egalitarian view of the self.
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