Unless I’m at a club and I’ve had a margarita or two, I am not one of those girls who can easily walk up to a guy, start a conversation, toss my hair, smile suggestively, and get a date. I would always ask a friend to find out if my current crush was available or interested in me. Then, The Facebook entered my life. No longer did I need to rely on the daily kindness of friends to discover someone’s relationship status. The man of the college moment now offers up the information free of charge to anyone curious enough to check him out. And I do.
If he typed that glorious word “single” in his relationship status box I continue perusing his page, with high hopes that I’ll run into him at the library or Starbucks. If his profile reads “In a Relationship” then I sigh, look up his girlfriend, assure myself that I’m cuter and check out his friends so I’m sure not to miss someone equally as dreamy but single. I chose to identify my current relationship status as single (hint, hint-) but Facebookers can select from six different answers, if they want to reveal anything at all.
Single. This is the label I see most often and it works in the single student’s favor. An ex-classmate once asked me out after he found my profile on The Facebook. He was “too chicken” to ask me for a date in person, but once he realized his attraction was to a single gal, he finally had the guts to talk to me. That coffee date didn’t turn into a relationship, so I avoided the transition time between being single and being in a relationship a few dates down the road. When do you finally take the step and let cyberspace know that you are in a relationship?
In a relationship. This is the most tactful way of letting people know that you’re not interested in being hit on. If you actually identify the person you’re in a relationship with, you are one of the truly dedicated. Two of my friends started dating over the summer. Because the guy had already graduated, he didn’t update his profile, so still said single. She joked about the issue, but still wondered if or why he didn’t want everyone to know they were an item. Are you not really in a relationship if you don’t let The Facebook community know? Four months after they became official he changed his relationship status to “In a Relationship with” and life is much easier for him.
In an open relationship. What about the countless college co-eds who claim to be in open relationships? Admitting to a true open relationship exposes the Facebooker to raised eyebrows and attracts non-committals. However, this label usually ends up being part of a joke between two good friends – usually two female friends. Maybe they think it’s cute; maybe they think it will attract guys; maybe they love being a little different. If it’s constant eye rolls they are looking for, they get those from me. You’re in an open relationship with your roomie? Really?
Married/Engaged. People often use the same ploy with the married option. I react with the same eye roll. Few married students invest time in Facebook. Those who do – congratulations, you are out of the dating pool. Those of you who are engaged, congratulations as well. Are any of your friends still single? Let me check-
It’s complicated. A new addition and my favorite: It’s complicated. It is the most honest, yet one of the least-used options. Whose relationship isn’t complicated? If you are technically single, this scene is complication central. There is probably someone relentlessly chasing after you, you are hooking up with your neighbor on the weekends or you are desperately hoping the dozen guys you’ve met at Rock ‘N Rodeo want to know more about you than your bra cup size. Yeah, it’s complicated. Did I say I was single? Never mind. It’s complicated.
Maresa Giovannini is a student at the University.