Now forget what you may have heard, girls like sex as much as the next guy, but when roommates are involved, it becomes a very awkward situation. Throughout my time here at the University, I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have heard a fellow lady holler out, “I wanna get laid!” or some colorful alternative of that phrase. And when you live with someone, you get one of two things, a match made in heaven or a roommate from hell.
A few years ago I had a roommate that fit perfectly into the roommate from hell category. Not only was she a total pig, but she loved getting the booty. Now believe me, I love getting some booty too, but there is something about getting sexiled from your own apartment on a regular basis that is wrong.
My roommate and I started out our living situation together peacefully and co-existed fine. We went out, partied and had a great time. That was until she started bringing home my friends.
One night my roommate and I went to a party at Kappa Sigma, which sadly has closed its doors, and had a blast. As the night came to a close, my roommate, who was heavily intoxicated, wrestled me for her car keys, jumped in her car, and in her words, “raced me” home.
Being the young helpless drunk girl that I am, I asked a long time friend, who for the sole purpose of saving him total embarrassment we’ll call “D,” to walk me home. After a brisk walk over to Harris Street, we found my roommate nervously pacing back and forth in the parking lot because she thought that she had lost me and that I wouldn’t make it home.
After an annoying conversation about who-knows-what, I went to bed, leaving D on the couch and my super cool roommate in the bathroom. I passed out, and shortly after I awoke to the sound of something banging on the wall. Oddly confused at what I was hearing, I opened my door (which looked directly into my roommate’s room) and to my horror, I saw – and heard mind you – my skuzzy roommate nailing one of my best guy friends. And because I want you to keep reading and not be nauseous, I will spare you a description of the visuals.
Once the incisive pounding and screaming stopped, I was finally able to fall back to sleep. But to my surprise (not) it woke me up again about two hours later. Oddly enough when I woke up in the morning, D was curled up with a blanket on my bedroom floor because my roommate “scared him,” which I didn’t think was possible.
Let’s just say that was a very awkward morning. Unfortunately, that isn’t the only time that I have had to deal with my roommates’ activities in the sack. I’ve seen lap dances in the living room, full male naked nakedness and all, as well as heard “you can sleep in here!” screamed from the bedroom at an unsuspecting male visitor – and yes, another one of my male friends.
I have also come home with my boyfriend after a night out and heard one roommate mid-orgasm, and I still think she faked it. Then there is always the uncomfortable mornings when you get out of the shower and another random dude is chillin’ in the living room in nothing but his boxers, eagerly waiting to use the restroom.
Now don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with my friends or roommates getting laid. But please, keep me out of it. The last thing I want to wake up to is someone else’s sexual endeavors, and trust me it’s way worse in the dorms (thank you Stacie), but that’s another story.
So to all of you who are cohabiting with anyone – male, female or both – please read these rules so your roommates aren’t stuck listening to your pleasure zone. 
1. Close your door and keep it in your room. That means no nookie on the couch – Katy – or any “No you’re dirty” games in the shower. Unless your roommate is out of town for at least a day. And if you do decide to do the deed in a common area, clean up after yourself. Condom wrappers and lube are a dead give away that the couch needs a deep cleaning.
2. Try to muffle your/his/her screaming to a low moaning roar. It is way easier on the ears.
3. Try to minimize headboard and body slapping, because trust me; no one wants to hear it.
4. Fourth and foremost, if you are going to bail after a booty call, go home, and please don’t end up on my floor. 
Mia Leidelmeyer is a senior at the University.