I’m not supposed to be interested in reality television. I despise the networks’ ploys to feed off contrived human emotion that they claim is the real thing. I’ve written essays about how reality television is American culture’s downfall.
So why have I been watching MTV’s “Two-A-Days”?
Maybe it’s a side of football I’ve only read about and never seen: Southern high school football as a job, religion and way of life. It is not simply a spectator sport where parents comfort you no matter the outcome of the game. In Southern football, you’ll be lucky if your parents feed you the week after you mess up when the team loses.
“Two-A-Days” has given me a chance to see what football is like on the other side of the country – and it’s not pretty.
“Two-A-Days” revolves around Alabama’s Hoover High Buccaneers and their expectations of a national title.
While the show has its share of overwhelming expectations to perform, it also carries the distinct MTV cookie-cutter, high school drama narrative that’s rampant in all of its
programming. I don’t care if the starting safety is having issues with his girlfriend. He’s hardly a factor on the team anyway. It’s a manufactured storyline that MTV thinks is worthy of viewing.
Hoover High runs their football team as if it were college. From staying in hotels before game day to having a police escort on the way to the game, it’s hardly any wonder why some football players carry so much ego.
The team also practices before school, into the dark of night after school and each player comes home afterward ready to collapse from exhaustion. Seeing this, it comes as no surprise why most football players struggle with academics.
Football is also synonymous with religion; the team’s chaplain tells the players to lay out their opponent for the glory of the Lord. The contradictions are too obvious: ‘Dear Lord, please give Jim Bob the strength to smite his enemies Friday night and may they be too broken to play the entirety of the game.’ I’m sure God has an eternal interest in high school football rivalry games.
Hoover’s rival school, the Rebels, treat the Buccaneers to Alabama’s idea of Southern comfort by waving Confederate flags as the team bus rolls in. I’m glad to see some parts of Alabama haven’t conformed to modern ideas, such as reading a history book, and stick to their misconstrued romanticism of the Confederate Army. It makes them a lot easier to laugh at.
Of course, maybe all of this happens in high schools everywhere (aside from the flags). I wouldn’t have a clue because my poor California high school seemed to not put much money or effort into creating a respectable program. Am I wrong to laugh at the zealousness of the southern states? Maybe it’s a microcosm of how America views the sport as more than just a game.
Though the state of Oregon is quite
passionate about its college teams, it seems football games become an excuse to drink all day.
But I guess that’s better than asking God to help kick the other team’s asses into
the ground.
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High school football plus MTV equals real trouble
Daily Emerald
October 4, 2006
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