There is something eerie about parking garages. It’s why people check beneath their cars once they approach it. It’s why people walk a little faster toward their car. It’s why Volvo built a car that warns you if it senses a heartbeat in the car. Despite this existing fear, film director Franck Khalfoun’s “P2” fails to frighten.
The premise is fairly simple. A young woman, Angela (Rachel Nichols), who is the last person in a Manhattan skyscraper on Christmas Eve, becomes trapped in the building’s parking garage by a lunatic (Wes Bentley). From then on the movie follows the basic suspense formula for the horror genre: Girl is taken hostage. Girl gets away. Girl discovers her fearless side and learns to fight back. End of movie.
Viewers will recognize this structure as they have seen it many times before; especially if they’ve seen a single Jodie Foster movie. Despite this unoriginality, the movie keeps the audience along for the ride.
There are genuine frightening moments. When the lights first go out, Angela finds her way around using only the light from her cell phone. The film wisely chooses to show only what she can see. This is both authentic and frightening.
And there is a moment when she desperately tries to call 911 and gets told that all circuits are busy. Is this possible? This scenario sneaks into the plot lines of many scary movies, but it seems impossible. Accepting that this is possible, however, the moment is terrifying, just maybe too convenient.
But these few moments are clobbered by the painfully bad ones. There are, of course, the required scenes in which Angela makes such bad decisions it makes you want to throw something at the screen. Among these are her decisions to stop hiding in a completely safe place, to willfully break her own nail for no reason and to walk, not run, toward nearby police officers.
These mistakes are part of what makes the movie almost so bad it’s good, from the costume change that results in her wearing an extremely revealing (and soaking wet) white dress, to the killer who plays Christmas music by Elvis while he chases her down.
These quirks, however, never seem to be bizarre enough. This isn’t “Jeepers Creepers” or “The Faculty.” Those movies were guilty pleasures that are still fun to watch on a slow Sunday afternoon.
It’s more like “The Hills Have Eyes II.” It’s almost a farce, but before it becomes one it stops itself and just ends up being a ridiculous movie.
The biggest problem with the movie is not the numerous flaws. It is the time period in which the film is set. The whole film takes place on Christmas Eve, making it another holiday scary movie. These movies, a bizarre quirk in the Hollywood schedule, have become a central part of the holiday season. But for some reason, “P2,” which is a scary Christmas movie, was released two weeks before Thanksgiving.
While this was probably bad for the movie, it’s great for you. This means that the movie will be making its way to the $1.50 cinema just in time for the holiday season. So go and enjoy yourself; just don’t expect too much.