So, you missed free scoop night at Baskin-Robbins. Now what? What can you possibly do with that embarrassingly low, Top Ramen budget of yours?
Before you sink into poverty-induced depression and begin living your dating life vicariously through Love Connection re-runs, listen up. There’s still hope for you and the rest of us penny-pinching misers who have Little Caesar’s $3 pizza Tuesdays marked on every week of the calendar — but only if you’re willing to put in a little effort in the kitchen.
No matter who you are, male or female, that special someone will be yours forever once you show him or her a little kitchen proficiency. (Nobody has to know that all you did was follow this article step-for-step.) Being a good cook is especially valuable during your college years, when chicken strips at Carson Hall pass as a delicacy.
Trust me. Your talents will be rewarded.
This is a little recipe for a unique dish that anyone with half a brain can make for less than $20. It looks good and tastes great, and with the right mood and setting, this homemade pasta will capture the heart and stomach of your date.
This is all you have to do:
You’ll need the following ingredients, which can be purchased at Safeway at these prices. A bag of penne rigate ($0.67), one pint of heavy whipping cream ($1.69), one can of crushed tomatoes ($1.29), olive oil ($3.45), and a jar of Italian spices ($1.69). This is all you’ll need to make the pasta and the sauce, at a cost of $8.79. But the authentic Scrooges may leave out the olive oil (it just improves the consistency) to bring the cost down to $5.34.
To make the sauce, combine crushed tomatoes, one-half teaspoon olive oil and two shakes of the Italian spices into a large saucepan. Stir frequently over medium heat until the mixture dissolves, then simmer on low.
In the meantime, boil the pasta. When the pasta is cooked, add the whipping cream to the sauce until it reaches the desired thickness. (Keep in mind the sauce will thicken further as it cools.) On your finest plates, — if you must use paper plates, at least go with the Chinet– pour the cream sauce over the noodles and serve.
To complement the meal, I suggest a simple side salad and bread. An Italian salad in a bag is easy ($1.99), but a head of romaine lettuce ($0.99) is cheaper and fresher. A plethora of mouth-watering Safeway-brand dressings, including Italian and creamy Italian, are available for just $1.99.
For a real treat, buy a loaf of French or sourdough bread ($1.99) and some Parmesan cheese ($2.50). With these, you can make a simple but delectable cheese bread in a few easy steps.
First, turn your oven on broil. Placed buttered bread on a cookie sheet and generously sprinkle Parmesan over each slice. Broil for about two minutes or until golden brown.
Finally, if you’re a real go-getter, buy a bottle of wine. This can really add to your costs, but a cheap bottle of Merlot can go for as low as $3.50. For the under-21 crowd, a bottle of sparkling apple cider ($1.50) will suffice.
For all this food – the pasta and sauce, salad, cheese bread and wine – you’ll be spending under $20. Cut a few corners (sparkling cider instead of wine, plain toast instead of cheese bread and no olive oil), and the damage will be closer to $12.
Now — and this is the most important step — you must create “the mood.”
Obviously, nothing says romance like a candle-lit dinner. So dim the lights, turn off the TV, unplug the phone and light a couple candles at the dinner table.
Put some soothing tunes in the background, but keep the volume low. I’ll leave the selection up to you, but try not to cheapen the date with your Barry Manilow records. I guarantee your date will see right through that perverted little head of yours, so keep it sincere.
Now that you’ve got all the instructions you need, let me give you the low-down on this cheap date. At under $20, you will be spending less than you would at any good restaurant. Plus, you’ll be increasing the romance factor tenfold. But the benefits of this cheap date don’t stop there.
With an entire bag of pasta, a pint of sauce, a loaf of bread and a head of lettuce, you’ll have enough food for four or five dates. Heck, you’ll be able to serve all your boyfriends or girlfriends with that much food. Just try not to double-book your dates.
Cheap, cheaper, cheapest
Daily Emerald
May 10, 2000
Ryan Starkweather Emerald
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