From infants to adults, Disneyland has something for everyone. We’ve all heard at least something about the fantasy land in Anaheim, Calif., and many of us have even had the opportunity to escape for a day and play pretend in a land that makes imagination a reality.
I was lucky enough to spend a day there over the July 4 weekend, so I thought I’d give you all the opportunity to live vicariously through me.
The highlight of a visit to Disneyland is different for everyone, but for me, it was definitely the opportunity to act like a 5-year-old for a day and not worry about looking foolish or not acting like a mature adult.
There is no way I would have been able to let go like this — in fact, I was petrified about going when I found out it was in my family’s plans for the weekend — without the presence of my 30-year-old sister.
I’d always thought she was kind of the quiet-genius type, but the second we walked through the gates she dropped her guard and ran clapping and screaming into the land of fantasy. If she and I can stop being serious for one day, let go and enjoy life with the kind of freedom that only a child understands, then trust me, anyone can do it.
Okay, here’s the lowdown on the actual amusement park complete with my favorite rides. Feel free to disagree and let me know about it.
The coolest ride is definitely Star Tours. As you walk through the 45-minute line, you’re actually passing through an inter-galactic airport, making your way to the terminal for a flight to the Moon of Endor.
When you finally reach your spacecraft, you board a rectangular room with six rows of seats. The room doesn’t actually move anywhere, but it certainly shakes around quite a bit. This is a plus for those like me who aren’t completely excited by crazy roller coasters that force you to question whether you’ll survive your trip.
Star Tours is awesome because — like everything in Disneyland — you don’t need to go very far to experience light years of travel. A huge screen takes you on an virtual journey, placing you directly in several scenes from the Star Wars movies.
Several Disneyland connoisseurs would probably be irate if I didn’t at least put Space Mountain second on the list. It was the first ride my sister wanted to go on, and it is definitely an awesome way to start the day — especially because the line is excruciatingly long as the day wears on.
It’s basically the roller coaster of all roller coasters, sending you flying through a dark room and forcing you to wonder how close your head is to the beams above you. The entire time I was just waiting to fly off the track. I couldn’t help but think that I wasn’t even going to be able to see how my life would end. But, if that is the kind of thrill that you enjoy, it does not get much better than Space Mountain.
Indiana Jones’ Adventure is pretty cool, if you can bear an hour and a half wait in line. You race around several sets from the movies, including “The Temple of Doom,” in a Jeep while robotic Indianas, which only Disneyland can create, provide hilarious commentary along the way.
The classic Pirates of the Caribbean is high on my list, but only because it is the site of a classic representation of certain corporations’ inability to understand what sexism is and how to avoid it. The part of the ride where robotic pirates chase women around a brothel has been changed.
Now, one woman with a rolling pin is chasing the men, but the man in front still has the same demented look on his face like he’s after her. And earlier in the ride, there is still the part where pirates are selling women with a sign above them that reads, “Buy a wench for a Bride.” Insert raised eyebrow and confused Tim Allen grunt here.
Just like it is impossible to cram all of Disneyland into one day, it is just as hard to review the park in 22 inches of newspaper space. People have spent entire lives criticizing the man behind the magic and analyzing the fantasy world that we have all developed a love-hate relationship with.
My sister sums it up best when she says, Disneyland and Walt Disney are “the closest thing we have to a benevolent dictator.”
Even if you hate dropping your guard or you think Disney is brainwashing our children, you have to admit that it’s pretty nice to have the opportunity to stop being so serious for one day and enjoy being a kid with an imagination again. After all, that’s what Independence Day weekend is all about — being free to do what you want.