Oh, crap. Just as I was beginning to peruse the pages of the Wall Street Journal to consider future investment plans I find out that the awesome mechanism of capitalism is about to be destroyed. And that end is starting in our very own hamlet of Eugene because the beacons of wisdom that are our friendly local anarchists have kept their movement alive by taking to city streets and clashing with police to enlighten the rest of us about the error of our ways.
Termed as the “one-year anniversary of the insurrection that started it all,” by Steve Heslin, described by some as an anarchist leader — wrap your head around that one, if you can — the event was attended by about 300 people in the Washington-Jefferson Park and turned into a melee as police dispersed a small group that had broken off and was blocking several local streets.
Of course, as per the Eugene usual, the protesters were the real victims. Victims of police brutality, victims of a harsh capitalistic system. Victims, too, I suppose, of a righteous cause they are but mere pawns in.
We should all take a moment to realize what a great service the anarchists do for our community. They give police overtime to collect and they keep insurance companies on their toes so they can pay out claims of shops damaged by the holy crusaders.
To those who would argue that the crowd has no business disrupting life for the rest of us, I say this is just political speech in the nonviolent heritage of Martin Luther King, Jr. and Mohatma Gandhi. Never mind that little detail that our protesters throw rocks and bottles at police and damage local businesses and infrastructure.
Also, I say forget that the necessarily unorganized group hasn’t put forth any realistic social alternative to that which they protest. It’s not important that their ideals, when they can be uncovered from a warped heap of conflicting rhetoric, would never work.
Those are but minor points.
After all, the main focus of our attention should be on the “Carnival Against Capital.” The Marxist leanings spouted by many anarchists as gospel should make us all examine how we get along with each other in society and how we treat even the least of our brethren. We don’t really need competition to innovate or financial incentive to motivate, do we? And it’s not like Marx was a capitalist. Oh, wait, he was. Well, we’ll just have to ignore that fact for the time being so the enlightened, socially conscious leftist wisdom makes sense.
And we needn’t concern ourselves with examining the reason Western philosophy elevates John Locke and Thomas Hobbes, two prominent thinkers on why man creates society, but knows next to nothing about anarchist philosophers. It’s just a part of the capitalist machine that lies to hundreds of generations of western thinkers, that keeps the idea of total social anarchy from being manifested right away.
I guess Silicon Valley and Wall Street had better get started looking for other jobs because Adam Smith’s “invisible hand” is about to get a slap on the wrist by a group of high Eugene thinkers. At least we won’t have to read that confounding Journal anymore.