Why would anyone on campus want to re-live the fall school term? The Emerald editorial board certainly doesn’t care to slog through the entire 10 weeks, so here we offer synopses of what we consider to be the top five stories of the term.

The never-ending election
Al Gore? George W. Bush? Let’s just appoint Dan Quayle to the president’s office for the remainder of December; after the last month of legal and political wrangling, the American people need a laugh or two. At the campus and local level, the ASUO busted tail to get scads of students registered to vote, and sanity prevailed in just enough Oregon voters’ minds to defeat Measure 9, the anti-gay directive put forth by the Oregon Citizens’ Alliance. Overall, however, it’s the national election that will be discussed and dissected by future generations.

FLA vs. the WRC
University President Dave Frohnmayer signed on with the Fair Labor Association in mid-September, then he took a big step back from the Worker Rights Consortium in late October when the University refused to pay dues to the group, a decision based on some vague legal issues. Students, faculty, administrators and alumni chimed in with their various opinions and one request seemed to arise from all parties: Make a friggin’ decision already, Dave! If the WRC isn’t a viable labor monitoring group in your opinion, then pull out completely. If the FLA is your choice, tell us. Oh yeah, and we recommend that you let your decision come from the heart and mind, not the wallet.

Oregon football
The Ducks are headed, appropriately enough for this particular Emerald issue, to the Holiday Bowl. That news is actually a disappointment in some ways, following a near-miraculous run the Ducks had toward the Rose Bowl. A loss in the Civil War smashed those plans, though, and put the hated Washington Huskies in Pasadena. Oregon State — apparently in a deal with Satan himself — is headed to the Fiesta Bowl, to play God’s team, Notre Dame. All in all, the 2000 football season should go down as one of the most exciting in Oregon history.

Police response fee
The Eugene Police Party Patrol issued its first batch of response fee warning notices this past weekend at two campus-area gatherings. Good to see that the response fee isn’t geared toward students, right? Of course, the City Council and EPD have both stated all along that the fee is not, repeat not, biased toward the student population. Yet, when was the last time that the Party Patrol cruised the South Hills or the River Road area in search of an unruly crowd? Kudos again to the ASUO for at least softening the burden on those residents who are hit with a fine.

Flu vaccine shortage
Health centers across the land, including the University’s, are facing a severe shortage of this year’s influenza vaccine due to problems vaccine manufacturer Wyeth-Ayerst had developing one of the new flu strains. The shortage has affected the campus and the community, leading to a nervous medical community that hopes for a delayed cold season. If you haven’t yet received your shot, and would be considered at-risk, i.e. suffering from diabetes, asthma or a weak immune system, among other ailments, get it now, before the holiday break.