I have no qualms with the hipster nation.
Are they annoying to listen to? Yes. But, entertaining to look at? Absolutely. Like chimps at
the zoo.
But would I ever burn my own light of day to make sure they were nowhere near me? That sounds extreme, but then again, here in Eugene we’re not forced to tolerate these “abnormal” types in the capacity that folks in many other places do. Maybe I need more perspective. Maybe I need to go to Portland for a while. It seems a few baristas up north have had enough.
This really seems all twisted up. Hipsters are the douche bags that usually do the discriminating, not normal people. But Billy Wilson, owner of Barista, a “cool” coffee joint that apparently is frequented by more than just the occasional hipster, has recently opened up a new shop that is hipster-proof, so we’re told. Early last month, Eater PDX reported that Wilson had just opened another Barista location, with certain improvements. 
Apparently the place is absolutely gorgeous, “with a copper-topped service
counter, lots of walnut-stained mahogany paneling and furniture and a low-slung, ultra-sleek La Marzocco Mistral espresso machine,” writes food writer Eva Hagberg. But what’s even more intriguing is the fact that there are very deliberate modifications that make this Barista location a hipster aversion. First, there are no outlets. Sorry, no more chillin’ on that cup of coffee for hours on end browsing the Web and filling up what otherwise would-be space used for paying customers. When the old iPad peters out, it’s game over. Or maybe you’d have to break out something “traditional” like a newspaper.
The second line of defense for Wilson comes in a minimalist’s packaging. Large, robust tables are no more at Barista. Wilson foresaw the hipster propensity for lugging around all their Mac products (hence the large Chrome bags), so he decided that small, one-MacBook-size tables, at knee-height no less, should be installed. That’s right, so in addition to your girlfriend or boyfriend not being able to put their Mac product on the table at the same time, you’ll be craning your neck to peep at your screen. Thank God for thick lenses, though, right? 
And when worse comes to worst and all defenses are down, Wilson doesn’t care. He knows his loyalty from his hipster customers, and he’ll shut the Wi-Fi down if things get too bad. 
Perhaps this marks the beginning of what will be a long and rough time period for hipsters.
Maybe hipsters will have to jump on some “civil rights” movement. Maybe they could couple it with a cool genre of music that’s never been heard before and from there recruit an army of tween hipsters. Maybe the Wandering Goat will start firing their hipster baristas in favor of an anti-hipster coffee culture. 
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