That’s it. I can’t take it. I’ve had enough. Apple Computer, Inc. is single-handedly causing the downfall of western computational civilization. Someone has got to do something about this.
Apple’s ability to market inferior hardware at superior prices, coupled with locking consumers into using their vendors, their hardware, their software and their “apps” is an absolute travesty. This is the kind of thing that has dinged Microsoft in the past and they stay well away from it, which is why anything works in Windows — even Apple apps.
Is there an app that will set Apple products at a reasonable price, make them work well and actually have computational performance that reflects the price? No, there isn’t an app for that and there
never will be.
Most annoying is the fact that they have their specialty stores that only sell Apple products run by haughty, wannabe geeks that seem content to only push you into the newest and most expensive trend. I went into one — once. My mission was to secure an Ethernet cord for an aging Mac computer. The cashier had never heard of the model, looked it up, laughed at me, tried to sell me a new iMac and when I wasn’t interested, tried to sell me an iPod. Once he knew I wasn’t interested, he turned back to his Starbucks “frappacappalattecinnoiato” and I was to see myself out.
As if the Apple stores weren’t bad enough, have you ever noticed that Apple products seem to break down right after their warranty expires? Last August I had two friends whose warranty had expired in July and their Macs just “bricked” (becoming, essentially, as useful as a brick) when August rolled around. It happened again to another friend of mine in September with the warranty expiring in August. (I’m not sure they know it’s a computer; I’m partially convinced they think it’s a giant iPod).
Many of my other friends are using Windows PCs that are about as modern as dinosaurs and they just keep on chugging. Why? If a part goes out or something goes wrong, you can actually fix it yourself or take it to a local computer repair shop for far less than Apple will gouge out of you to send it in. As such, many Mac users tend to just toss out their aging Macs entirely in favor of an upgrade, adding to the already egregious amount of silicon waste in landfills.
The worst Apple affront to me is the massive presence of Macs on campus. I’ve been to Oregon State University (I used to work there) and they fully embrace open source. They have one of the premier open source labs in the state and host Linux distributions for the world to take and use for free. You might bring up the point “well, why don’t you just go to OSU, then?” Simply because I don’t want to. It’s been my mission to attend this University since I was about 15.
Still, every time I turn around, here I am staring face to face with a damn Apple product and my soul dies a little more. Through their dimly-lit screens I can picture Steve Jobs laughing while rolling around in piles of money he’s made from the obedient Apple Cult. While there are some Windows PCs around campus, it just seems to be Mac-this and Mac-that; so much so that the throngs of us with other OS’s are forced to find workarounds.
In the journalism department there are classes that force students to use Final Cut Pro, a Mac-only video editing suite, *gasp*, owned by Apple. This forced me to run an emulator and then run Final Cut Pro. Granted, it was still faster than the Macs on campus by a long shot and I could comfortably work from home in my underwear, but I had to waste a couple of hours setting it up. Though it isn’t that hard of a thing to do, it’s more difficult and more work than I think the average computer-user wants to put in. What’s the alternative? Spend $3,000 on a new iMac? I’m sorry, but if I’m going to waste $3,000 on something that only amounts to a status symbol, it’s going to be on a $1,000 set of 36″ mud tires for my ‘46 Willys Jeep. Then I’m going to buy a new Windows laptop for $1,000 that’s still faster than the $3,000 iMac. And then I wouldn’t even know what to do with the other $1,000.
All this considered, I’ve decided to leave journalism and cease campaigning against the evils of Apple. I’m going out into the world to do what I truly love: fix things. As long as Apple Computer, Inc. exists, there will be a plethora of wrongs to right with my faithful screwdriver. I have been fixing computers since 1999. Old iMacs shall become the anchor of my proverbial boat (which is what I just realized I can spend that last $1,000 on!).
Damn it Apple, you haven’t won yet.
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