When junior Parrish Danforth lived in the residence halls, he didn’t get to choose his roommate — and he ended up with a man who slept with a sword.
Danforth chose his next roommate based on the fact that they bonded over bad roommate experiences. If he were to continue to choose roommates based on mutual roommate troubles, his list of candidates could include the majority of the population.
Bertram Malle, a social psychologist at the University, calls the matter of choosing roommates “judgment under uncertainty”; the decision is important and is usually made with very little information. It’s a decision people significantly fret over that usually ends with a plenitude of regrets, Malle said.
For the student population, the issue of roommates is a big one. Although there are many students who carefully pick their housemates, many people end up choosing roommates based on convenience and financial concerns.
Junior Charles Evrett wanted to cut down on living expenses, so he looked for a roommate and responded to an ad he saw on an announcement board in March. Since they moved in together, the two have had financial disagreements, and the roommate has a pregnant girlfriend he fights with at least twice a day, shouting and screaming in the small apartment, Evrett said.
Because of the lease Evrett signed, he feels trapped in his current roommate situation.
“I don’t know if I can ask him to move out, but if I could I would,” Evrett said.
Situations like these lead some psychologists to advise that people get to know potential roommates before moving in with them.
“Having a cup of coffee with someone isn’t going to be representative of how you will get along,” Malle said. The most reliable way to find a good roommate is to spend a lot of test time with that person, he said.
Senior Seth Rigeles has experienced a variety of roommates and living situations, including living in a car, with friends and with strangers. He currently lives with a 70-year-old woman and a 40-year-old man. Through these experiences, he has discovered what is really important to him when it comes to personalities in roommates.
“You don’t want to have to worry about offending people or getting your ass kicked,” Rigeles said.
Overall, his best living experience was living in a shanty for four months by himself, he said.
For those unable to live alone, the next best alternative is to live with more than one other person, Malle advised. He cited statistics that show people who live with three or four roommates have better results.
“It helps to live with more than one other person because it provides more perspectives, which can be helpful with conflict resolution,” he said.
Senior Jon Moch has lived with groups of friends, both men and women, and has found the mix of genders works well.
“It’s good to have a nice balance of testosterone and estrogen. Otherwise, too much of one or the other can be overwhelming,” he said.
While living with friends has generally worked well for Moch, he has experienced instances in which lifestyle differences have caused problems, particularly where drug use and pets were concerned.
One roommate had a bunny who became a problem once it hit puberty, Moch said. The bunny, Buster, became territorial, hissed and bit Moch, and defecated all over his room whenever he left his door open.
Moch said he is the kind of person who lets his problems fester, and his roommates tend to be the same way. According to Malle, the psychologist, that is exactly the way most bad roommate situations arise.
The major mistake people make in regards to roommate situations is that they think roommate success depends on matching personalities, Malle said.
“What causes the bad situations are escalations of lots of small things that haven’t been talked about,” Malle said. “People are fairly quick about making assumptions but often are surprised by how easily people can change.”
According to Moch, the best advice when it comes to choosing roommates is to consider TV preferences.
“Don’t get stuck with someone who wants to watch sports when you want to watch ‘Sabrina (the Teenage Witch),’” he said.