Reporter’s notebook

Attention students: The CIA wants you. And they don’t care if you’ve smoked a few joints, as long you can get a B average in school.
America’s intelligence experts came to the University on Wednesday for the first time in five years to pitch their spy programs, and I came to write about them. After all, journalists make perfect spies.
“In Oregon, it doesn’t seem like it, but we’re not your typical company,” explained a CIA information specialist who would only give his first name, Bill.
“I’m sorry sir, no cameras,” Bill said as an Emerald photographer was denied entry by Bill and his gray-suited spy-buddy, Jill.
After chucking a few other cameras out of the public meeting, CIA analyst Jill got down to business.
“We’re going to try to cover a wide range of jobs, depending on your major,” she said.
Jill described job openings at the CIA as the 20 to 30 students took notes. Several people in the meeting had come prepared to fight the CIA. They passed around anti-CIA pamphlets as Jill did her best to ignore them.
“Think Q in James Bond,” Jill said as she described one job. “When we have a technical issue, we ask them to fix it for us.”
After talking about positions at the CIA ranging from the analyst who often writes briefs for the president of the United States, to the translation technicians who monitor foreign-language media and turn it into English, Jill finally started talking about the cloak-and-dagger aspects of the CIA.
“The clandestine service is a collection service of last resort,” she said. “It requires you to work undercover.”
As Jill spoke, a couple of well-dressed students entered the room. Snazzy ties, crisp white shirts, the works. The two of them sat down next to me — had they found me out?
Nope. I glanced over, saw the resumes in front of them, and realized they were just well-dressed fraternity brothers running late for the CIA session. Should have known better.
I turned my attention back to Jill. She was busy issuing the standard spying-is-risky disclaimers.
“People do put their lives in danger, and they can get killed,” she said.
The CIA hiring process, no matter what jobs students are interested in, can be tense. It takes six to nine months to process a security clearance, take polygraph tests and complete medical checks. The presenters said once that’s completed, there’s no guarantee a job will still be available. Students need a college degree and a minimum GPA of 3.0 to apply. Drug users are OK, as long as a student’s been clean for at least one year.
“If you’re a regular cocaine user and plan to be one, you’re probably not going to get a job for the CIA,” Jill said. “But if you’ve smoked a joint or two, it may not hang you up.”
The agents then opened the meeting up to questions. Some students asked about health issues, relocation and how many languages they’d have to speak to be hired.
While Jill refused to answer many controversial questions about the past history of the CIA, most questions focused on the life of a spy.
“Do they pull out your fingernails?” asked one student.
“How long are documents classified?” asked another.
Jill added that ideal spy candidates would be 25 to 30 years old.
“We don’t like to send 22-year-olds out on what could be life-and-death situations,” she said.
For people interested in the agency, Bill and Jill advised students to check out the group’s Web site at www.cia.gov.