When most people think of domestic violence, they think of women as victims and men as abusers. But that is not always the case; abuse also happens in same-sex relationships.
YWCA financial advisor Kirista Trask said many people do not think of domestic violence as a same-sex issue, but it does occur in the gay community.
Trask said the YWCA is working on a poster campaign for Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and the group will be focusing on informing students about same-sex domestic violence.
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Educational and Support Services Director Chicora Martin said gay men who are suffering from domestic violence do not really have a safe place to go in Eugene.
Trask agreed and said that
although gay men can go to Womenspace, a local domestic violence service, most do not feel comfortable going.
“Gay men have little resources, and there is very little written literature about same-sex domestic violence,” she said.
Martin said gay men do not generally come forward when they are being abused because they must admit first that they are gay and second that they are being battered. She said this can be difficult for gay men because society does not typically accept them or believe that a man can be abused by a partner, whether it is physical or mental abuse.
“There is not a lot of statistics about gay men who are abused by their partners,” she said. “They do not have a lot of resources available for them to report domestic violence.”
Martin said gay men will most likely not call the police, and if they do, authorities do not always report the situation as domestic violence.
“A fight between two men won’t be seen as partnership violence, but as two male roommates duking it out,” she said.
There are gay men on this campus who have been in violent relationships, and most say they left the relationship because of friends or because they decided to move out or leave town, Martin said.
She said she has heard of gay men on campus being stalked by partners, but the men have had difficulty obtaining a restraining order because authorities did not believe them.
Womenspace has gay and lesbian advocates as a support group for people dealing with same-sex violence.
Womenspace community outreach director Margo Schaefer said same-sex violence is somewhat similar to heterosexual domestic violence, but many issues are different.
For example, if the person being abused is not openly gay, the abusive partner can attempt to control the other by threatening to reveal their homosexuality.
Schaefer said it is more difficult for gays and lesbians to come forward about domestic violence because they fear they will be the only one.
Martin agreed and said for lesbian women, it is often a stereotype that women do not batter other women.
“Basically, the more challenges they have in their lives, the more difficult it is to come forward,” Schaefer said. “It is difficult enough to come forward, anyway.”
Schaefer said Womenspace has shelter and support services available to heterosexual men and gay men. She said men can come to Womenspace and know that they will be believed.
“I know there are barriers, but we have services,” she said. “We have sheltered men before, but their shelter needs are not as great as women’s.”
Trask said she hopes to see more resources in the community for gay men who are being abused by their partners.
“Obviously, queer men need resources,” Trask said. “There needs to be a space for these men to go and feel safe.”For more information about same sex domestic violence, visit www.nwnetwork.org.