Don’t think about proposing to Ada Hakobyan, Haben Woldu or Rashree Parsad before speaking to their parents.
From the way people propose to the location of the wedding, marriage in other countries means an entirely different set of rituals than the diamonds, white gowns and flowers that often appear in American weddings.
Ada Hakobyan, a junior from Armenia, said it is traditional for parents of the groom-to-be to accompany him to the home of the bride-to-be’s parents for the engagement announcement. Upon the approval of the woman’s parents, a wedding date will be set.
“Ethiopians do it a little different,” said sophomore biology major Haben Woldu. “My future husband will express his love for me to the elders of his family, and they will go to my parents, without him, to tell them why he’s a good man.”
Woldu said the groom-to-be must wait patiently until her family has come to a decision on whether he is worthy of their daughter’s hand in marriage.
In Mexico, it is honorable for the bride to wear her mother’s gown for the wedding, Brendalee Sifuentez said. During the ceremony, the groom gives gold coins to the bride, which is the first money a husband gives his wife, she said.
Parsad, a Fijian Hindustani senior, said Indian weddings are solemn occasions.
“Hindustanis are superstitiously romantic,” she said.
Women have the major role in the weddings; the mother and sister of the bride are solely responsible for making preparations, Parsad said. The wedding process lasts anywhere from 3-10 days. During this time, the bride and groom fast and abstain from alcohol, smoking, sex and meats as an act of purity, she said.
Because of certain traditions within the Hindustani religion, finding a place for the ceremony can be a more complicated affair.
“In my culture, the temple is sacred and often too small for weddings,” Parsad said. “Besides, there are some traditions that call for a more open space, like a hall.”
She said the bride and groom do very little talking during the ceremony except for the exchanging of vows.
“There are seven vows that the bride and groom make while circling a fire, which signifies eternity. The bride and groom are linked by a gold cord, and each take turns leading one another,” Parsad said.
Parsad, Woldu, and Hakobyan all agreed that weddings in their individual cultures are more than a union of two souls — they are also parties that may last for weeks. Woldu said that although the wedding is a sacred event, the four-day celebration is also filled with food, fun and games.
But it isn’t just culture, ethnic identity or nationality that influence a person’s wedding; religion also plays a role.
“It’s really important that I marry a man who is Christian,” said ASUO Vice President Joy Nair, who is also of Indian descent.
Nair is a Christian, so her wedding will more closely resemble a typical American wedding.
“I can choose whether I want to wear cultural garments or a white gown,” she said, and it is natural for her to have her wedding in a church.
Though Americans may joke about the annual gift of fruitcake during the holiday season, the dessert will play a different role at sociology major Cordella Green’s wedding.
“American people may take fruitcake for a granted,” Green said, “but in Jamaica it is common and tradition for there to be a tasty fruitcake laced with rum at the reception, and all the cake left over is sent to friends and family that couldn’t come to the wedding.”