Those who didn’t go see Wesley Willis at John Henry’s on Monday night are among the millions of poor souls who have not yet been enlightened by Chicago’s own king of rock ‘n’ roll.
I’ll try and make it up to those less fortunate by describing the show. But first, a little background on Mr. Willis.
First of all, he’s a schizophrenic. Really. This is perhaps his most interesting and defining facet. He swears at the voices in his head, is prone to shouting out random gibberish and liberally sprinkles profanity through his lyrics and his dialogue with the crowd.
Physically, Willis cuts an imposing figure: He’s well over 6 feet tall and surpasses the 300-pound mark by a country mile. He
has an enormous gap between his two front teeth and a sizable scar in the middle of his forehead from head-butting his fans.
Appearances aside, however, Willis is one entertaining mofo. His music is a bit hard to describe. Willis is a one-man show, and his instrument is a simple keyboard. He doesn’t exactly “play” the keyboard; rather, he hits the demo button and simply changes the key based upon whatever song he happens to be singing at the moment.
And the songs! Most of Willis’ tunes have titles like “Vultures Ate My Dead Ass Up,” “Rock Saddam Hussein’s Ass” or “I’m Sorry That I Got Fat.” However, many of his songs simply celebrate (or ridicule) various celebrities, forming the kernel of such masterpieces as “Apollo Creed,” “Dave Grohl” and “Megadeth.”
Monday night’s show saw Willis in top form. During the opening acts, he alternatively sat down at his merchandising table or walked around, mingling with fans and dispensing head-butts with gleeful abandon.
By the time Willis took the stage, the sizable crowd filling the floor and the bar was exploding with anticipation. Requests for past classics such as “Cut the Mullet” flew through the air before he even had a chance to fire up his keyboard.
Willis coolly shouted, “Shut the fuck up!” back at the crowd and debuted what is destined to become an indisputable classic: “Osama bin Laden.” This incredible number had lyrics along the lines of: “You are a terrorist. You are a real jerk. You planned the September attacks on New York City. Your ass is gonna get whipped by the United States!”
Throughout the song, I was moved to observe a patriotism rarely seen in Eugene’s 20-something contingent. Yes, “Osama bin Laden” would have made the $6 price of admission entirely worth it to me. But instead, I was treated to more terrifically amusing tunes for more than an hour.
At the end of every song on his albums, Willis shouts “Rock over London! Rock on Chicago!” But during Monday night’s show, he changed “Chicago” to “Eugene, Oregon,” a friendly gesture that did not go unappreciated by the audience.
The hits kept coming: “Santa Claus Was A Car Thief,” “You Wrecked Your Daddy’s Cadillac” and “Lick a German Shepherd’s Dick” all graced the air before he closed the show down with his two best-loved songs, “Rock and Roll McDonald’s” and “Cut the Mullet.”
Despite rapturous applause, Willis did not perform an encore. Instead, he stoically gathered up his lyric sheets and stepped off the stage, wading through a sea of adoring fans and giving out much-coveted head-butts.
All in all, it was a night to remember. Wesley Willis comes through Eugene every couple of years, and I highly recommend his next show. I can guarantee you that you will never see anything remotely like it ever again.
E-mail columnist Dave Depper at [email protected]. His opinions do not necessarily represent those of the Emerald.