In reference to “Still just a ‘dream,’” (ODE, Jan. 21): My skin color says I’m of the white race, the word “white” holding numerous positive connotations: white hat, white lie, etc. We may also call a black person black, but “black’s” connotations are negative: black mood, black Sabbath. So, to soften “black” as applied to people, we use the foreign Spanish/Portuguese/Italian “negro.” Or one might say “colored person” or “person of color,” but the words/expressions with the fewest syllables tend to win out. African American is doubly misleading because some whites hail from Africa and some negroes are native to parts of Asia and the South Pacific.
We sometimes like to have a separate term for our familiars, so here we would use a derivative of a French word for black, nègre. In fact, there is a lullaby still sung in New Orleans, repeating soothingly over and over, “Ti nègre, ti nègre,” where “ti” is short for petite and the expression is literally “little black” or “little nigger.” It’s a term of endearment. In Jamaica, “you’re my nigger,” is idiomatic for “I love you.”
MLK’s “dream” speech is perhaps misleading in that the original American experiment in equality had little or nothing to do with the equality of the races, but was more concerned over whether shopkeepers could run the government. Be that as it may, we have embarked upon a new experiment in racial equality.
It is understandable that negroes want to forget about their heritage as slaves, where the familiar term applied to them as cared-for members of a slave-holder’s household is not welcome in the new experiment.
Furthermore, a personal term applied to someone with whom one is not on familiar terms can be construed as an insult. You tell an older man to get out of your way: “Move it, pops” rather than “Excuse me, sir:” That is degrading. Thus the word “nigger” has been used in some circles as an insult.
When my sister eloped with a black man, our parents didn’t much care for it, and for a time, my sister was acting almost ashamed of her husband to appease the folks. This didn’t set well with me, so I made a point of acknowledging him in our family, which brought me flak from all sides — parents and sister. At the time, it seemed that the only side that I was on was that of my new brother-in-law.
In the “Still just a ‘dream’” article, the columnist expressed shock at hearing a friend refer to another friend as “nigger.” I know on occasion I have, in informal speech among friends, used that word for my brother-in-law meaning only that he is accepted by me as a brother, and I might suggest that this friend’s black friend may actually be cool with the term. In the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” the head of the house tolerated no disrespect, but his son still could call him “pops.”