It is February, and for many weeks a massive pink tide has been rising — washing through stores and swelling up in residence halls, coloring lives a rosy shade of romance. It is time to make hugs a little stronger, kisses a little more thoughtful.
Or maybe not. For many, Valentine’s Day is not a time of joy and candy hearts, but a time of loneliness and regret. It can serve as a reminder of just how alone people feel. But students have different ways of chasing away the blues.
“I eat,” freshman Matt Damkroger said. “Honestly, I just try to get over the feeling that I’m single.” However, Damkroger said he does not think it is bad to be single.
“Sometimes it’s nice to take a break,” he said.
Not everyone, however, is satisfied by internal monologues of encouragement or by food. Freshman Zak Bennet seeks respite from February’s romantic bombardment in music. Emo, or Emotional Punk, is an emerging genre that has already garnered great popularity among angst-filled followers of Indie rock.
“Just sitting down and listening to songs that echo what I am feeling — it can be a big relief.” Bennet said. He urges music lovers to go beyond Emo favorites, such as Dashboard Confessional.
“There is a ton of stuff out there,” he said. “Music can be quite cathartic.”
More traditional than the acoustic guitar, a timeless resource for melancholy is the love poem — tragic or otherwise. Lyrical tales of love found and love lost can provide a soothing escape for those overrun by commercialized romanticism.
Freshman Heidi Zlatek said poetry, much like music, “can speak to exactly how we are feeling. Poetry is not simply the Shakespeare people read in school.”
Zlatek suggested reading “The Hell With Love: 8 Poems to Mend a Broken Heart,” edited by Mary Esselman and Elizabeth Velez, which she said is an amusing collection of poetry with works ranging from established poets, such as Emily Dickinson, to more modern poets, such as John Ash. The chapters lay out the tale of betrayed emotion, beginning with “Rage and Sadness,” and building steadily toward the final chapter, “Moving On.”
“It just makes you feel better about everything,” she said.
Dr. Brooks Morse, a psychologist at the University’s Counseling Center, also has some advice for the lonely this Valentine’s Day.
“This is a socially constructed holiday,” Morse said. “It says, ‘We are not adequate by ourselves.’ We need to realize that our own company is good company.”
In response to the methods of managing sadness mentioned above, Morse said, “It all depends on the purpose. If the purpose is to embrace the sadness, and if this embrace helps people cope, then go for it.”
Morse encourages people to do something different.
“Plan something social that they enjoy — go out with friends, re-create the day,” she said.