Editor’s note: In honor of the stresses of the final two weeks of the term, we honor Theodor Geisel (aka Dr. Seuss), and hereby denounce the grotesque cinematographic bastardization of “The Cat in the Hat.”
 
Winter break, two weeks away
But will we make it? We cannot say
 
We’ve already done nine weeks of fall
But if we work more, we’ll hit the wall
 
Endless lectures fill our heads
Dreams of tests haunt us in beds,
“Professor!” we cry, “Please desist!
We get your meaning, we’ve got your gist!”
 
Studying for hours filled with dread,
All through the week of dead.
 
Are you sure you’ve got the nerve?
Are you sure you can meet the curve?
Just one week more of class,
Are you sure you’ll even pass?
 
We’ll find a friend, we’ll find a buddy,
For hours on end, we’ll have to study,
 
Study Swedish and art and writing
Against the clock, we’ll all be fighting,
Study math and psych and Greek,
Faces in books for the entire week.
 
Hours of work before we’re done,
A quiz! A midterm! But there’s no fun!
 
Only 10 more school days till we arrive,
But we just don’t know whether we’ll survive.
 
Our brains will soon rot to rust
Prepping for tests that are most unjust
 
Studying for hours every night,
Slaving away in Library Knight,
 
Then comes a week with many a test,
We’ll do our best, but get no rest
 
Sometime next week you’ll awake,
And thereupon begin a well-deserved break.
 
Almost a month to sleep and play,
But not for long you can stay,
At parents’ house where food is made,
Hot and steamy from the oven,
Nothing like a mother’s lovin’!
 
For these small pleasures you do trade,
Your education bought and paid.