Quacks to the University Bookstore for recognizing the perennial, worsening student budget crunch and giving awaya free term’s worth of textbooks. In light of the economic slouch and the recently approved tuition hike, it’s exactly what 13 of the University’s luckiest students needed.
Smacks to parking on campus. Spending 20 minutes to find a spot is ridiculous and no doubt costs the University countless person-hours of productivity every term. Here’s to hoping the new arena is built on Howe Field: Screw paradise, put up a parking lot.
Quacks to students who don’t drive to campus. We recognize that biking or riding the bus isn’t practical for every student, but we thank those students who can and do use alternative transportation.
Smacks to the New York Post for calling the Emerald and asking whether any reporters could dig up sensationalist dirt for an in-state story. We are far from fans of tabloid journalism, and we won’t do their dirty work. Clearly, the editors of that publication have forgotten since their college days what the goals of professional journalism really are.
Quacks to research programs at the University, which scored a record $77.8 million in the 2002-03 school year. It’s a refreshing reminder that, even if most people don’t make the association as readily, the University excels at academics as well as at athletics.
Smacks to Damon Stoudamire for hiring lawyers and challenging his latest pot charge. Don’t try and get out of trouble on an absurd search and seizure argument, Damon. You — allegedly, eh hem — walked through a metal detector with your grass in tin foil.
Quacks to “Kill Bill,” Quentin Tarantino’s new flick. It’s too early to tell whether it will be the next “Jackie Brown” or the next “Pulp Fiction.” Oh, wait, both movies were great. So was “Reservoir Dogs.” Mr. Tarantino, we are your humble servants.
Smacks to the Eugene Police Department. The next time the agency decides to search for a police chief, it might be a good idea to not renounce the other candidates before making sure the first choice will actually accept the job.
Quacks to the new pedestrian refuge on East 13th Avenue. Thanks to planners, architects and construction workers, the refuge is a great addition that makes the area much more eye-pleasing, turning a mere thoroughfare into a very walkable promenade.
Smacks to the war supposedly being over. Designated major combat ended May 1, but 175 American soldiers have since died, according to DefenseLINK, the Department of Defense’s official Web site.
Quacks to the Justice Department for investigating the White House. Many people have suspected White House involvement in the leaking of the identity of CIA operative Valerie Plame. Whether the claims are true or not, it’s good to see checks and balances in plain effect.
And finally, smacks to the National Cattlemen’s Beef Association for creating cheeseburger fries. The deep-fried culinary chimeras are filled with a meat-cheese mixture, and are making their way into public school cafeterias. With more than six grams of fat per fry, there’s no need to ask, “Where’s the beef?”