Okay, so Annie is very near and dear to my heart. Yes, I was in the musical in high school and yes, our show was amazing. Unfortunately, however, the 2014 movie adaption of the timeless classic was not as great. The songs, the characters and the jokes all fall flat and are tiresomely clichéd. It’s honestly really sad because the movie unsurprisingly does have a lot of energy, but that energy feels shamelessly forced and synthetic.
Sure, there were moments when I did manage to awkwardly chuckle, but those moments pretty much revolved around Cameron Diaz’s character as the drunk, grumpy, down-on-her-luck Miss Hannigan (reminiscent of her Bad Teacher role). In fact, I would go so far as to say that Diaz’s performance stole the show, if the show were worth stealing. Diaz seemed to possess a sort of self-awareness that somehow made her character ironic and genuinely funny.
Rose Byrne and Jamie Foxx give it their all as well and at times there are moments of comedic sparks with the pair, but those moments tend to be few and far between.
And of course, these are adult actors with years of experience we’re talking about but unfortunately, the movie isn’t about them. It’s about the foster kid (no longer an orphan) named Annie. And now we’ve come to the probably most important shortcoming of the film – Quvenzhané Wallis’ so-so performance.
The thing about Annie is she’s supposed to be lovable, relatable, clever and have a charmingly captivating personality. While the 11-year-old does her best – and at times she does shine (for example, the “Opportunity” song) – she fails to capture Annie’s magnetism. Maybe it’s the horrible, horrible, unfunny lines she’s given, but this Annie is completely lacking in the personality department. Though her character is supposed to be upbeat and cheerful, Wallis’ execution almost makes Annie deadpan (which could be funny, actually…). The entire time I was wondering what was so special about Annie that is supposed to make the audience believe the movie’s characters would actually fall in love with her.
The songs matched the movie’s synthetic feel and some felt random and distracting in their timing. Brave enough to attempt a more “modern” take, but not brave enough to fully commit, most songs seem to differ little from the old Annie movie. The 2014 original songs are another matter entirely. Save “Opportunity,” these irritatingly auto-tuned songs should have been replaced with something more substantial and compelling.
Oh my god I feel so mean now. Now I have to say something nice… Okay, the highlight of the movie, “Opportunity,” was actually very well done and it was pretty much the only time Wallis shined, it’s just sad that her singing talent didn’t translate to her acting. Oh god, that was supposed to be nice but ended up taking a turn…