Opinion: Amidst the pressures of modern dating, it’s important to value self-love and try “dating yourself.”
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Cupid day is just around the corner. With cuffing season in full swing, love is in the air. Yet the singles are hit by a new wave of loneliness. The dreary season makes self-love challenging for many.
So, I’ve come up with a proposition to start feeling that “love” everyone’s mouthing about: Date yourself. I know, it sounds crazy. I’m not going to try and take credit for this concept. However, I’ve been trying it out recently, and the benefits are endless.
The idea of dating yourself sounds intimidating at first. Many get caught up in their busy schedules or hyper-fixate on the dating scene, and they forget the importance of being alone. There’s also the stigma that self-love is only appropriate for women; this age-old standard isolates men from having a relationship with themselves.
The act of dating yourself is genderless and inclusive of everyone. I’m going to offer some ways to begin the journey of self-love.
First things first: Try romanticizing your life. Listen to music while grocery shopping. Go on a walk in nature. Take pictures of random things that bring you joy. Buy yourself flowers. I’m a firm believer that romanticizing makes every activity meaningful. You play a more interactive role in your life.
My personal favorite is taking yourself out on restaurant dates. That table for one setting allows a personal debrief while enjoying delicious food. A memory I often return to is last Valentine’s Day; I went out to dinner with a friend at BJ’s. I looked around at the couples seated nearby as they ate in silence. The idea was illogical to me. Instead of an uncomfortable date, why not just take yourself out to dinner?
Journaling is undeniably at the top of the list. Not only does it promote self-love, it improves mental health. There’s something therapeutic about writing down what you’re feeling. Let’s be clear — you don’t need to be a good writer to journal. The beautiful thing about journaling is that it’s for you and only you. Write about anything you want: trauma dump in one entry and talk about the wonderful sandwich you ate in another. Ultimately, journaling helps you process what’s happening in your life.
I watched a video recently where a woman shared a method she learned in therapy. She said to treat yourself like you’re the love of your life. I thought to myself: That is such a lovely way to go about life.
“When I think about the love of my life, I want them to have a healthy heart and be in tip-top shape. So yeah, I’m going to the gym. When I’m trying to decide on which thing I should buy myself, I think: What would I get for the love of my life? So I just get both,” she said.
The best part about dating yourself is getting to know yourself on a deeper level. Being alone allows for growth and self-discovery. I now have a greater understanding of who I am and what I’m about, even in times of stress. So try making that dinner reservation at 8 p.m. for one. See what you learn about yourself.