Opinion: People must be conscious in the way they talk about body dysmorphia and eating disorders.
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The epidemic of body dysmorphia and eating disorders consumes modern society. As the second deadliest mental disorder, one person in the U.S. dies every 52 minutes from ED complications. The umbrella term covers a spectrum: anorexia, bulimia, binge eating and avoidant food intake.
Not everyone struggles with eating disorders, but a majority of the population experiences body dissatisfaction at least once in their lifetime. The National Eating Disorders Collaboration defines dissatisfaction as an internal emotional and cognitive process “when a person has persistent negative thoughts and feelings about their bodies.” Body image, dissatisfaction and dysmorphia all contribute to an unhealthy mindset.
Dysmorphia is an internal struggle much of society faces. However, environmental and social factors often contribute to the battle.
A good friend of mine struggles with eating disorders. It came to a point where she was hospitalized, which was the beginning of a continuous journey of recovery. There’s multiple steps in the healing process, like meetings and specialized therapists. Yet the most important part is the support from loved ones.
She quickly expressed the need to not talk about our bodies. Mainly the negative thoughts. There’s a line between expressing your struggles to your friends and projecting triggering thoughts. For example, talking about weight gain and dieting. Everyone battles with body image, but constantly picking out parts of the body isn’t appropriate.
Kiana Gellman is president of the Eating Disorder Awareness and Support group at the University of Oregon. EDAS aims to provide resources, spread awareness and destigmatize eating disorders.
“Why do we even need to make comments about bodies? When we make comments, whether they’re good or bad, we’re putting so much value on people based on their bodies,” Gellman said. “We put focus on positive and negative parts of the body that can allow us to spiral internally.”
I struggle with body dysmorphia, too. There are days when I feel confident, and others where I hate how everything fits on my body. I sometimes express these internal battles to my friends subconsciously, saying things like “I feel so bloated.” Yet I purposely don’t project my negative thoughts. My loved ones support me, but they too have their own battles.
Gellman uses the analogy of a mother and a child to illustrate healthy friendships. “If you’re a mother and you’re struggling through some serious trauma, you’re not going to your child. There are things that are inappropriate to talk about within certain relationships,” Gellman said.
Just like trauma, dumping body insecurities onto loved ones is improper. It can often be triggering. There are unassuming times when people I love negatively talk about their bodies, and it sends me into a spiral.
Gellman stressed the importance of putting yourself first in these situations. It’s justified to ask someone to change the subject; to not talk about the body. You can go as far as to remove yourself from the conversation and walk away.
“It’s hard to remove yourself from people and remove yourself from situations, but it is an incredibly powerful thing to do,” Gellman said. “It is a commitment to yourself. It is a commitment to recovery.”
Being conscious of body dysmorphia starts with correcting how we talk to one another and how we compliment others. A body isn’t the sole essence of a person. There are so many things that make up a person and their value.
“Taking away and really isolating your compliments to be more holistic and about a person in general, not specific traits,” Gellman said. “I think it’s interesting to pull focus away from the body by telling them they look phenomenal. That their energy is amazing. Their personality and smile are amazing.”
The best compliments I have ever received had nothing to do with my body. A friend of mine complimented me recently and it continues to stick with me. She called me a gem. A one-in-a-million type of person. Not one word had anything to do with my body.
Gellman’s biggest takeaway is to have compassion when it comes to eating disorders. It’s important to surround yourself with positive people who uplift your body image, and to also maintain empathy towards those who outwardly radiate their struggles.
“I think it’s really important to zoom out and have empathy. They’re not choosing to have these toxic thoughts. They are struggling themselves and projecting onto others,” Gellman said. “So having that compassion around it is super important. But it’s equally important for individuals to set boundaries for themselves.”
No one who is struggling with dysmorphia intentionally brings harm to others. Most of the time, they aren’t aware of the power of their words. And that emanates from the stigmatization of eating disorders. Only in the past few decades has the conversation opened. Yet with groups like EDAS, society continues to learn how to discuss ED in a healthy way, starting with our day-to-day conversations.
