With hungry eyes, I scrutinized my phone screen and waited. My blue, oval text message stared at me, taunting and teasing my brain. With an exasperated sigh, I threw my phone on the couch and started pacing around the room. I haphazardly dusted off my dresser and hung up my towel before I gave into the temptation and grabbed my cell phone again.
Finally, it appeared: The Holy Grail of an icon, the image that promised relief, the symbol of a technological conversation: “…” The dot, dot, dot. I held my phone tightly, anticipating the reply and counting down every second. What were they going to say? Should I have replied that fast? They definitely think I’m clinically insane now. Maybe I should have put a period instead of an exclamation point. I don’t want to seem THAT desperate – my thoughts leapt around my brain like toddlers in a bouncy house on too much candy.
I felt this pull to my phone, as if that “…” could ease some of the tension coursing through my body. Then, the worst happened. I gawked at my phone. The telltale sign of a reply vanished. The “…” disappeared. What? My brain scrambled for an explanation. The exclamation point scared them. I should have said “hey” not “hi” – what was I thinking? Stupid.
The “…” is a powerful symbol in the world of text messages. We make that sign into something evil and blame ourselves for a lack of response when it disappears. Instead of considering the possibility that the other individual became momentarily distracted, is possibly in class, could be driving to the store, on a jog, or trying to formulate their own calculated response, we immediately assume it is our fault: I scared them away, I said something wrong, I seemed desperate, I became too clingy, etc.
That symbol gives us a short burst of endorphins. Whoever created the idea must be highly amused by how easily it affects our everyday lives. It makes us feel wanted and it drives people crazy when “…” vanishes because clearly the other individual, whether it be friend, significant other, or family member, ceased forming their response.
Now, let’s all take a moment to realize that each of us have been that “other person” furiously typing away on our mini pads or touchscreens. More often than not, I simply became distracted and either had to put down my phone or I forgot – we’re human. It happens.
The interesting outcome in being a victim to the disappearing “…” is that we seem to completely forget that distractions also happen to other people. Here’s a thought: maybe it’s not your fault that they didn’t reply within five seconds. Maybe, albeit a wild idea, the other end of this conversation has a life outside of the text message world. Go figure.
Nonetheless, a reply that arrives 20 minutes to an hour later makes us anxious. We start to “decode” why the other person did not reply sooner and many, myself included, ask: “Is everything alright? Did I say something wrong?”
The vanishing “…” should not make us feel inadequate. Yet, it worries us. We twitch, pace, count sheep, vent to friends, and wonder what went wrong. Texting has created a generation of people that thrive off of immediate gratification. We crave fast responses and feel happy when a notification arrives on our cellphones. Basically, when the “…” disappears, it is the equivalent to an addict going through withdrawals. We feel off balance and shaky.
It’s okay when “…” vanishes. Jumping to the worst conclusion is only going to create a sense of panic. Instead, take a moment to consider that the other end is doing something slightly more important than texting you. Better yet, don’t analyze it at all. Do something crazy like going outside.