I will freely admit it: I love reality shows. I’m given quite a bit of crap about this from my friends, family and roommates, but I will defend the lowly reality show until my dying day.
My dear friend, colleague and roommate Rebecca seems to think that watching reality shows is somehow detrimental. And while yes, I have learned both how to make meth in a Gatorade bottle and how to be a sniper, I’ve also learned that none of my “priceless” antiques are worth anything. She argues that reality shows degrade women. She has obviously never watched VH1’s classic “I Love New York.” If she had, she would know that the degradation is universal.
I would like to make it clear that I am not addicted to any reality show,@@right@@ except for maybe “The Amazing Race.” I watch these things when I have nothing else to do but sit and couch surf. So, without further ado, I would like to argue that reality shows — some, not all — are actually worth your time.
For clarity’s sake, I’m going to break reality shows down into their four basic categories.
The guilty pleasures
See: “Jersey Shore,” “The Real World,” “Keeping Up With The Kardashians,” “The Girls Next Door” (Oh, how I wish the last was still on)
Yes, I know these shows suck. And yes, I know it’s stupid of me to watch them. And yes, I’m more than slightly ashamed when my roommates walk through the door, and I’m lying on the couch totally absorbed in Ronnie and Sammi’s latest spat. But sometimes, I just need to watch something that requires absolutely no actual participation from my brain. Sometimes you need to sit back and just be entertained for a while.
Now, I know a lot of people would argue that these shows are not actually entertaining, but I have to respectfully disagree. “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” may be inane, offensive and boring (at least when Kim is on-screen), but Khloe, Kourtney and Scott can be genuinely funny. I’m slightly ashamed to see myself defending this show, but it’s true. Plus, there’s something to be said about the escapist aspect of it; those Kardashians are rich as all hell! It’s kind of fun to see their enormous houses and miles of closets and offensively huge diamonds. It’s the same reason people — who am I kidding, the same reason women — went to see “Sex and the City 2.” It’s a fantasy.
The genuinely awesomes
See: “The Amazing Race,” “True Life,” “No Reservations” and pretty much anything on The Discovery Channel or The History Channel
Unless you truly hate television, there’s kind of no arguing that these shows are great. “The Amazing Race” has won 12 Emmys, and “True Life” has at least one of its own.
The so-bad-they’re-goods
See: “18, 19 or 20 Kids and Counting” (I can never remember which kid they’re on), “Sister Wives,” “Toddlers & Tiaras” and basically the entire TLC lineup
These shows are basically the equivalent of what freak shows were when circuses were popular. The people featured on these shows are ridiculous. Twenty kids? Really? Four wives? Babies in makeup? How crazy! These shows are so weird that they’re mesmerizing, and before you know it, you’re crying because the oldest Duggar kid is getting married, and he can finally kiss his girlfriend (But then, you’re gagging because he pushes his tongue down her throat with such ferocity that you’re afraid he might kill her).
The “Soup” stars
See: “The Bachelor/ette,” ANYTHING on VH1, “The Real Housewives of Some Lame-ass City,” “Wife Swap”
Now you may not believe me after reading the rest of this column, but I swear I don’t actually watch these last shows. These shows are crap. These shows make up the bulk of the clips featured on E!’s “The Soup,” the show that makes all its money by making fun of these pathetic losers who are looking to find love on TV. Remember “Flavor of Love,” on which Flavor Flav@@http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0281318/@@ spent three seasons looking for a woman? Prime example.
I fully recognize that these shows are, on the whole, pretty dumb. I also would like to acknowledge that some can be kind of awesome. But in the end, they’re entertaining, and that’s all I really care about.