It seems like it gets harder and harder to get out of bed each morning. The temperature is dropping and project due dates are looming, government is expanding and job markets are shrinking. Sometimes I feel wound so tight the muscles in my jaw start to ache from gritting and grinding my teeth. There is one thing, though, that still brings a smile to my face: the shortcomings of others. The following little treat greeted me the other morning on CNN:
“A young woman slapped Prince Charles in the face with a flower on Thursday in Latvia while he was touring the Baltic nations to commemorate Britain’s recognition of their independence from Moscow a decade ago. The gesture was meant to protest Britain’s role in the U.S.-led bombing of Afghanistan.”
I would like to point out all the ways this gesture is stupid and wrong, but first here’s a little assorted knowledge on Latvia (I sure as hell didn’t know anything about it): The Republic of Latvia is located in Northeastern Europe on the Baltic coast, on a historic trade route between Western Europe and Russia. Its climate is moderate and rainy. Forests cover more than 44 percent of the nation, and it has — get this — the largest otter population in Europe. There’s a claim to fame. The official language is Latvian, a non-Slavic, non-Germanic tongue similar only to Lithuanian. Latvia is a democratic parliamentary republic, population 2,375,000, more than half of them indigenous Latvians of the Lutheran persuasion. The capital, Riga, where the flower-slapping took place, was founded way back in 1201 and is home to a third of the populace.
I can only assume that the woman, because she opposes British involvement in Afghanistan, was trying to advocate peace in the region. So, to show her love of peace, she decided to hit the future King of England. And she did it while Chuck stopped to talk to a group of children, no less. What kind of message is this sending them? “Hey kids, what do we do to visiting dignitaries? Attack them with vegetation! And how do we show our love of peace? With small acts of violence!”
She used a flower, too! Was the irony supposed to appeal to Charles’ superior British wit? What, couldn’t she find a dove to hurl at him? What’ll she do for an encore, carve a peace sign into Tony Blair’s forehead? That would probably be more effective, seeing as how Prince Charles has exactly zero say in British foreign policy.
As the woman was being led away by two armed police (I don’t know if she will be charged with anything), she was quoted as calling Britain “the enemy of the world.” What world? The Third World? Sure Britain used to own half of it, but that was years ago. I thought the only people with a grudge against the British these days are the Irish. If anybody’s the enemy of the world now, it’s Americans. The British are just riding our coattails. Give credit where credit is due, lady.
Furthermore, this protester refused to give her name or age. So she’s proud enough of her beliefs to walk up to the Prince, on camera, and swat him across his ugly mug, but she’s too modest to attach her name to the act? Is she trying to avoid the publicity? It seems to me that publicity was her motivation because I don’t see what else she hoped to accomplish.
The woman was carted off, and Charles, bewildered, continued down the street mingling with bystanders. The bombing in Afghanistan continues, with British and Latvian support, and another idiot gets her 15 minutes. I, for one, suddenly feel better about myself.