The Willamette Valley has looked more like Death Valley to allergy sufferers this summer. With all that rain early this month suppressing the pollen in the air, the following days of sunshine ignited a delayed (and rather tragic) whirlwind of pollenization.
Last week was like hay fever purgatory. I spent more time scratching my eyes than actually using them. I have never had allergies as bad as I have this year, and for a while, I didn’t understand why … until I opened a Register-Guard and read that the pollen count had reached 990 grass pollen grains per cubic meter. The worst in the nation. Suddenly, Claritin pills have become more valuable than the sticky green to Eugeneans …
I don’t think anyone without allergies can understand how frustrating they are. Rather than waking up and getting something to eat, I spend the first 15 minutes of my morning prying my eyelids open from all the itchy gunk on my eyelashes and running around in a mad dash looking for any allergy pills I can scarf down.
Rather than doing something normal in the summertime, such as running, playing basketball or living, my chest congestion makes me wheeze so much that any
athletic activity makes me cough.
For Christ’s sake, even the mindless act of gaming with my boys is ruined by three-minute eye-itching breaks, two-minute nose clearing breaks, and even the occasional five-minute “lemme wait for this headache to chill down” break.
But (and I know this sounds spiteful) I am glad a lot of other people are cursed with this
immune system dysfunction.
Misery loves company.
Twenty-six-year-old Danielle Pritchett went to her boyfriend’s baseball game with her three children on a sunny Sunday morning (right now, most allergy sufferers are already sneezing from the mere thought of freshly cut grass).
About two hours into the game, Pritchett’s eyes began to irritate her, and she did the worst thing any allergy head could do: the fatal first itch.
From there, the story took an all too familiar turn: The irresistible burning eyes grew more and more irritable with every stroke of her index finger. Eventually, she wound up with eyes that were so swollen, she could barely function. Pritchett took some Benadryl, hoping that would soothe her cloudy, itchy eyes enough so that she could drive home. But while it granted some relief, the groggy side effects of the pill put her to sleep — in the middle of the game.
She woke up and finally felt decent enough to get herself and children home.
“I think my world is ending due to allergies,” Pritchett said.
Two of her children lucked out and are allergy free, but one of them has been granted the curse, as well — so bad, she says he often comes to her crying.
If you don’t have hay fever, think of it like this: Take the worst cold you’ve ever had, add a dry, yet runny nose, red itchy eyes that only get worse with every touch, and then imagine being told that the only relief to your condition is the temporary one granted to you by a dependence upon steeply overpriced four-hour tablets of groggy nirvana.
If allergy sufferers don’t take their medication, those sweet summer winds that grant many pleasure under the beaming sun become nothing more than a vicious pollenized gust that brings nasal carnage.
We can’t even enjoy the outdoors — because some damn grasses decided that they wanted to make love.
Get a room.
An article titled “Researchers discover ‘anti-allergy’ protein” in last Monday’s Register-Guard shined light into my life: “A team of researchers has discovered a human protein that inhibits hay fever, atopic dermatitis and other allergies, a finding that could lead to the development of ‘super medicines’ to treat such ailments.”
Not sure what exactly “super medicines” means, but putting that phrase and the word “allergy” in the same sentence brightens my day.
Will this new info grant me the ability to go on a afternoon hike without dying? (Not that I necessarily would anyway, but knowing I could is nice.)
Will this new info grant me the ability to laugh in the face of freshly mowed grass?
Will this new info lead to the recuperation of our summer spirits?
I sure hope so — but as of now, my future roommate and I continue to using my living room as an (ineffective) allergenic bomb shelter. We continue to mask ourselves from the war zone known as the “great” outdoors.
Scratching his eyes, and smearing snot with traces of blood into a well-used Kleenex, he angrily shouts a statement that pretty much summarizes our curse: “I want to fight the air!”
Equipped with a scarce supply of anti-histamines and an endless stash of tissue paper, allergy sufferers continue to fight their ultimate invisible enemy: air.
[email protected]