The jungle juice drool of a snoozing stranger oozes onto your sheets. Your pounding hangover explains the ripped condom package on the bedside table and the slimy love glove stuck to headboard. You marvel at the magic of beer goggles as you show your not-so-pretty bedmate to the door, hoping this one won’t hold on for dear life. No name, no number, no attachment, no problem — for those who thrive on the temporary thrills of the infamous one-night stand.
But reality hits, and those with a vice for short-lived sex are usually hiding from something — intimacy.
“Eventually, they build a wall around their emotions to the point where it doesn’t matter who anymore,” University Health Educator Ramah Leith said.
Considering the risks associated with one-night stands — everything from increased risk of contracting infections to emotional guilt — Leith said sex should not be taken lightly.
“Good communication about past sexual histories, contraceptive methods and the relationship in general are very important to have a fulfilling and safe sex life,” Leith said. “As a health educator, I find it hard to find positive reasons for any person to have a one-night stand.”
Yet, many students do partake in a little “wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am” — or sir.
“I don’t know a girl who hasn’t had a one-night stand,” said Rachel, a junior at the University. Rachel said she’s kept such good tabs on her sexual partner pool that one time, she decided to inform No. 24 of his status on her list — immediately after committing the act.
Leith said partner-counting is definitely more of an intimacy issue than a hobby, even if the participants are in denial. She added that a majority of individuals who count are male.
She noted that the partying and living situations in college offer more opportunities for unplanned sex, but individual maturity levels sometimes helps those with a vice for one-night stands to eventually wise up.
When it comes to freshmen girls, University senior Brian, who wished to be identified only by his first name, said one-night stands for men of his stature are like shooting fish in a barrel. Of the 30 one-night experiences he has had over the past three years, Brian said probably 23 of them would ignore him in public. And although he thinks one-night stand seduction is a two-way street, he said females get obsessed and attached while men ask themselves, “If she’s ready and willing, where has she been?”
Joey, a junior, said his definition of a one-night stand doesn’t necessarily involve sex, and even “heavy petting” could leave someone feeling ashamed and regretful in the morning.
Freshman Rick said he once took a girl out to breakfast after a one-night stand that didn’t go further than oral sex. However, his graciousness backfired when she assumed the meal meant they were “together” and when she decided to have sex with him a week later, he broke up with her.
“I was just trying to be nice,” he said. “I didn’t want a relationship.”
After her first one-night stand during her freshman year, Haley, now a junior, said she expected “coupledom” the next morning, only to get a cold response from her hangover bedmate.
“I really, honestly thought we were dating,” she said. “I learned quick.”
Recalling the numerous Saturday and Sunday mornings she has seen girls trudge home in their party garb, Haley said the walk of shame is the best indicator of drunken one-night stands.
“You know they’re not just taking a morning stroll in their five-inch-heeled stilettos,” she said. According to the Student Conduct Code, no consent is given in sexual intercourse if either person is intoxicated in any way. Considering alcohol lowers inhibitions, Leith said all sexually active students should apply for the Family Planning Expansion Project — or FPEP — to receive state aid for health services and contraceptives.
Despite the availability of FPEP services, Leith said one-night stands are not a healthy pastime due to the risk factor. “If you need sexual release, masturbate,” she suggested.