Opinion: It’s quite common for people to prioritize others’ issues before tackling their own, but we need to remind ourselves that we can’t benefit those around us before we help ourselves.

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“You’re not the center of the universe.”
A phrase thrown about by others when they think you are attention-seeking or behaving selfishly. There is some truth to this sentiment, as everyone faces issues and yours aren’t always going to be in the limelight. Nevertheless, the phrase reinforces the instinct to prioritize others’ needs over one’s own or bottle everything up because someone else spoke first.
My meditation instructor last term twisted the idea on its head by reminding the class that we weren’t just “the center of the universe”; we each are the universe in its entirety, put on the Earth to experience its own beauty. While that originally sounded a bit too preachy for me, I’ve been in a bit of a mental health slump as of recently, and I found this concept and other versions of it to be very helpful in keeping me going. I’ve always been the type of person who prioritizes others before myself, but the idea that my self-care could indirectly support those around me has been rather motivational.
Now that we’re stepping into spring term and the end of the school year is just 10 weeks away, I figure we should move self-care higher up the list of priorities. I’m not going to tell anyone how to care for themselves, as it looks different for everybody. For some it’s sleeping in late and for others it’s an early morning walk. As long as it feels good for you, it is self-care. What I will do, however, is justify why self-care should be on the top of your list.
Let’s start with solipsism, the philosophical theory that the self is the only thing one can be sure exists. Truthfully, the intricacies of solipsism sound absurd to me; I don’t think that everything is gone once I leave a room. However, the concept as a whole does have some merit when it comes to tricking your own brain into prioritizing self-care.
There’s at least one thing, whether you’re conscious of it presently or not, that brings you joy in your current reality. If you’re the only truly existent being (you’re not; there are many other people that exist all around you), then this thing that brings you joy is a positive projection of yourself. If your family members, friends and peers are all a piece of your own mind, then the best way to care for them is to keep yourself healthy first and foremost.
So, if the idea of prioritizing ourselves is that easy to justify, why is it so hard to follow through?
We often fall into these holes of procrastinating self-care because we forget that it’s supposed to be fun. You can’t force a certain activity to feel beneficial just because others find it fulfilling; for instance, running may help clear someone’s mind and prepare them for the day, but if you personally hate running, then it’s not the outlet for you.
That doesn’t mean you won’t find an outlet or that you should put off self-care entirely until you stumble upon something others consider advantageous. It’s not about stepping out of your comfort zone; it’s about relishing in it. So read a book or take a nap or go on a run. Let the world fade away for a moment and settle into you. Come back to us later.
When you do return, remember how important you are to how the rest of society functions. One worn gear can slow the whole mechanism to a halt, so you should polish it regularly to prevent future stalls. I know that it can feel like you’re letting others down when you take a break or put something off because you can’t handle it at the moment, but I promise that those who care for you will want you to take care of yourself first.

So yeah, maybe you’re not the center of the universe. But you are an integral part of it, and you need to take care of yourself if you wish to sustain it for others.