I felt frazzled. I anxiously scrolled through my phone, trying to find the perfect image to Instagram. I spent 20 minutes downloading photos of my mom and me from my laptop and Facebook, but something did not feel right.
Was it the filter? Do we look happy enough in this photo? Should I post right now, or is it too early? I frustratingly buried my face in a pillow and dropped my phone on the floor. I just wanted my mom to know that I was thinking about her. Why couldn’t I post the perfect image?
Mother’s Day has come and gone, but I fear no one will remember how I feel about my mom. No one will recall how much I thanked her or mentioned something quirky that she does. Strangers will never find a picture of my mom and I candidly smiling at each other. No friend can “comment” or “heart” an image of my mom from the 1980s. No one will know how much I love my mom, except her, for you see, I didn’t post a photo on social media.
Mother’s Day images cluttered my Instagram feed and the “I love you” and “Thank you” statements accompanied each photo. I almost added one of my own until I overheard a conversation between two strangers describing how they considered deleting the photo of their mother because it didn’t receive enough “likes.”
A clarifying thought dawned on me: I couldn’t post the perfect image of my mother and me because it didn’t make sense to post one in the first place. She doesn’t have an Instagram. Therefore, that post could not be for her because she would never be able to appreciate it.
Subconsciously, I knew that I wanted to post a picture for a variety of reasons, but doing it as a gift for my mother was not one of them. Which raises the question: why would I post a picture about my mom, for my mom, when she could not enjoy it?
As twisted as these ideas may sound, I believe that any person that has an Instagram account can relate to these theories:
Mother’s Day posts appeared because
- We want the “likes:” Everyone wants to feel good about themselves and receiving an abundant amount of “likes” on any photo boosts self-esteem. It makes you feel appreciated, thought about and popular.
- It’s normal to post on a “theme day:” Whether it is Throwback Thursday, Flashback Friday, Transformation Tuesday, the Fourth of July or Earth Day, pictures concerning themes litter Instagram feeds on the respective day. It is as if we need people to know that we “care” about this day in some way. Posting a picture shows our concern and/or appreciation…obviously. Right?
- We want people to know our own version of reality: Mothers are amazing people. They have the hardest job on the planet and probably deserve two Mother’s Days per year. Instagram never reveals reality. It is a filtered world that lets people create their own idea of authenticity. Your mom drove you to soccer practice every day? You should thank her on Instagram so that everyone knows you appreciate what she did.
Some mothers do have Instagram accounts and enjoy pictures just as everyone else does. My only critique is that we take a step back and analyze why we posted the picture. The reason behind the image can reveal the hidden motivations that may not even have to do with Mother’s Day. I believe that in some cases, individuals want people to know how they feel about their mom because we care about what other people think. Instagram allows us to create an “ideal reality.”
So maybe next year, we can simply call our mothers and tell them how we feel, without professing it to the world. I promise it will mean more to them than any picture you find on your computer.