A moment came near the end of Lill Pagenstecher’s candlelight vigil last Sunday night that was beautiful in its imperfection and choked me up all over again.
Nearly everyone held their breath as Lill’s Chi Omega sisters lifted a lantern into the sky. The glowing fire rose higher, blazing against the warm night sky. Then, the wind started carrying it. As the tribute blew toward the trees lining Carson Hall, students started chattering and pointing. It looked for a second as if Lill would set fire to campus.
Just as quickly, the moment and the danger passed, and nervous giggling broke out across the EMU East Lawn. It was laughter that had been buried too long under tears, and the catharsis was palpable. I like to think it was Lill making us smile one last time. She would’ve loved it.
“That did not go like they planned,” one student next to me said.
But when does life ever?
Like many others, I’ve been moved by the outpouring of support across campus for the Pagenstecher family and Chi Omega. We’ve demonstrated that the strength and togetherness of our community overshadows chapter loyalties and rivalries and extends beyond functions and service projects.
By no means does Fraternity and Sorority Life own a monopoly on sympathy or compassion. But our unity, our closeness, has proven unique. Who else could turn a weekly drink special into an emotional fundraising tribute?
In 1980, a fire in Sigma Alpha Epsilon destroyed the entire third floor of the house, killing a Delta Gamma named Laurel Steil. The Emerald splashed the story across its front page: “Fraternity blaze slays woman student.” In addition to the unfortunate rhyming, the subsequent days of the paper were devoid of any mention of Laurel. No obituary, no memorial, no funeral coverage. That’s just how it was.
Last April, University sophomore and Delta Gamma member Lauren Sickler was diagnosed with Ewing’s sarcoma, a malignant cancer that typically affects young adults. She’s chronicling her journey through chemotherapy in a courageous and inspiring blog. She couldn’t be reached for comment, but she’s received uncommon support from within the community too. Chapters on campus have sent flowers and cards, and Delta Gamma also donated a portion of their Anchorsplash philanthropy@@http://gladstone.uoregon.edu/~deltag/anchorSplash.htm@@ earnings to help her financially.
Yes, there’s always more we can do, but we’ve come a long way.
Inevitably, life will return to a state of normal. It always does. But when relations between chapters next fracture — and they will — think back to Sunday’s vigil or Wednesday’s Dollar Beers and remember the role we play in each other’s lives; how interconnected and dependent on each other we all are.
Don’t forget this momentum we’ve developed. It’s disappointing it took the loss of one of the most ebullient and fun-loving girls in our community to help us set aside the differences in our letters, but now that we’re here, we can honor Lill by moving forward together and treating each other with honesty and compassion.
And Lauren? Kick cancer’s ass for us. We’re pulling for you as one community and one Greek Life.