Yesterday, while listening to music on my iPod, Josh Groban’s version of “Little Drummer Boy” came on. And, instead of getting filled with the fuzzy, warm holiday spirit like I normally do when I hear his sexy baritone, my heart dropped. The date was Dec. 26, 2012, and I felt incredibly sad.
The post-Christmas blues aren’t anything new for me. I have always been especially obsessed with Christmas. In my family, I’m known as the “Christmas child.” I start listening to Christmas music in the summer. I will watch anything that has to do with the season, from movies with talking puppies to terrible ABC Family TV specials. I squeal when I start seeing the first Christmas commercials pop up on television. It’s no exaggeration when I say: I love Christmas.
However, it’s just one day of the year, and then it’s gone. You’re left with some beautiful memories (hopefully), but with a season so highly, highly anticipated, regrets seem inevitable. I start asking myself questions that all surround this one, singular, hurtful thought: “Did I take advantage of the season as much as I could?” The responses are overwhelmingly negative: Did I listen to Christmas music enough? (No.) Did I watch the majority of films on my Christmas movies list? (No.) Did I sing Christmas carols enough, go to Christmas plays, make Christmas cookies? (No, no and no.)
But, like any good (bad) Lifetime movie will show you, that’s not what the holiday season is about. I want to be grateful for what I have, for what I did, for the time I spent with loved ones. It’s a time to re-situate after a stressful, long year, and a time to congregate with joy before the beginning of a new year. When I keep these positive thoughts in mind, I am happy. I am able to look back at the season with fondness and look forward to the upcoming season with excitement. It’s just the cycle of the year.
I keep reminding myself of what there is to look forward to: New Year’s Eve, warm weather, exciting classes. I remain positive. Because, you know what? Before you know it, summer will be here, and I will be singing those carols all over again.