By now you’ve probably seen Superbad, and if you haven’t, you really need to for a couple of reasons – only one being the fact that it is one of the funniest movies in years. Vulgar humor aside, Superbad introduced a friendship model that is typically seen in more outlandish settings, like Jay and Silent Bob, Harold and Kumar or Harry and Lloyd. But our friends in Superbad – Seth and Evan – brought a new level of realism to male bonding, one that caught the attention of The New York Times. Ultimately, the movie inspired a new word and flamed debate on what is unofficially now known as “bromance.”
Before you jump to conclusions, let us examine the word and its meaning. Bromance – as displayed through Superbad – is more than a bond, more than BFFs, more than hetero-soul-mates. No friends – bromance is a new admission of man-love. It is quite frankly beyond words, but I will attempt to explain as best I can.
I am in a bromantic relationship. My best friend and I are dangerously good friends, and in some fashion we reflect Seth and Evan’s bromantic relationship. Example: Every Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and the occasional Saturday at around 10:20 am, my buddy Lou Babe wakes me up, brings me a cup of coffee, and sits on the edge of my bed while we talk about coffee, fishing, the Blazers, pot and women. This is how most of our days start, and needless to say, you can safely assume that we do most everything together – and to be totally frank, it feels weird when we don’t. We have the same taste in women; we party the same way – a little too hard; we make the same jokes; we both embrace being poor; and we both embrace the everlasting words, “All you need is love.”
Having said that, it may come as a surprise to some of you that Lou Babe and I are in fact not gay; but that’s what makes bromance so special. We are straight men who admire, respect, love and cherish each other without any desire to get down. My friend Sam does not seem to grasp this. He suggests that by introducing the word “romance,” there is automatically a connotation of sexual love, which is simply not true. But then again, Sam sort of looks like a serial killer, and I sincerely doubt he is involved in a bromantic relationship. Whether you’re male or female, sex does not equal love, and love does not equal sex.
The reason bromance needs to be openly discussed is because men should feel comfortable shouting, “I love my best friend!” from a rooftop – drunk, sober, cross-faded, or anywhere in between. Men – especially straight men – are taught to be masculine, tough, unaffectionate, and mean to each other in order to build respect for each other. And even the toughest guy you know – Sam excluded – is probably involved in a bromantic relationship, but just cannot admit to it for fear of being called “gay,” which sadly has become the most detrimental insult between men. Dudes, bros, dawgs, playas and G’s listen up: Publicly admitting you love your best friend does not necessarily make you gay. I know some of you watched Superbad and thought to yourself, “Hey, this reminds me of my friendship with _____.” And you know what else? I bet most straight dudes who saw Superbad consciously loved it for that very reason.
But in today’s society, homophobia within the male community is so overbearing we simply cannot fathom a world where it is cool to tell another guy that you love him because the idea of love is solely reserved for women. Hogwash! This is why bromance – and its very existence as a word – is so critical for today’s heterosexual males. Men, we need to feel comfortable with our own sexuality for multiple reasons – one being that it makes you sexier – because the era of homophobia and lack of same-sex affection is over. Superbad wasn’t a movie about two best friends trying to get laid at a party – that storyline is old and trite. No, Superbad was about accepting the fact that the love of your life just might in fact be another straight dude.
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