Imagine being asked out on a date by someone you really like. The night is going well until your date drops you off and asks to come upstairs to “hang out.” Although you’re a little uncomfortable by the forward request, you want to be polite so you invite your date in. You start kissing, one thing leads to another, and suddenly it’s gone too far. You plead with your date to stop, but are ignored. It happens in the blink of an eye – date rape.
It may seem unlikely, but the statistics regarding the prevalence of date rape are staggering. According to a recent estimate by the U.S. Department of Justice, one in five college-aged women will get raped during a five-year college career. Even more alarming is that 90 percent of the time, women will know their attacker. It happens so suddenly that victims often don’t know how to react. Half of those cases of date rape will go unreported because many women don’t consider it rape.
Traditional dating is almost disappearing. When was the last time someone asked you out on a real, genuine date? Our culture has shifted into one that discourages dating and thrives on casual sex. With men and women turning casual sex into practically a hobby, boundaries in these settings can easily become hard to identify. So what is date rape, really? It occurs when an individual is forced into a sexual situation they are not comfortable with.
While date rape statistics involving female victims are considerably more common, do not underestimate the prevalence of sexual harassment toward men. According to a study by the Rappahannock Council Against Sexual Assault in Virginia, as many as one in seven men will be a victim of rape in their lifetimes.
Although these statistics are alarming, all is not lost. With these tips, you can avoid dangerous situations and date safely.
1) Drink carefully: Do not accept drinks from other people at a party and avoid setting your drink down. Common date rape drugs include GHB, ketamine, and Rophynol (affectionately referred to as “roofies”). Also, avoid getting “smashed.” Your judgment goes out the window.
2) Back-up buddies: Make sure a friend knows where you are at all times throughout the night.
3)Be straightforward: Don’t be afraid to accept or reject an invitation. Everyone has the right to safe, consensual sex. Never feel guilty about setting boundaries.
4) Take a self-defense class at the University: This is handy for both men and women; they teach you how to physically fight back and recognize and avoid potential threats.
5) Trust yourself: If you listen to that “little voice,” it’ll warn you against potential threats and keep you out of unnecessary danger.
If you or someone you know is a victim of date rape, there are a variety of resources around to help, including hotlines and University health and counseling centers. Dating should be fun, not dangerous. Most of all, remember to trust yourself. Only you know when you are truly in danger.
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