Duck fans, give thanks before you dig into your Track Town pizza tonight.
Be thankful for long lines for tickets. Be thankful for full parking lots. Be thankful for a packed-to-the-gills stadium.
Repeat after me: “I will never again complain about getting to Autzen Stadium two hours before kickoff to get a decent seat.”
Good.
You see, I went to Memorial Stadium this weekend. Call me crazy, but I wanted to see the inner workings of the enemy. And the enemy is ugly.
The enemy (the not-so-feared Golden Bear) does not get to the stadium early. The enemy does not worry about not getting good seats. Fifteen minutes before kickoff, Memorial Stadium is full … of Duck fans.
Five minutes to kickoff, the enemy’s student section is half full. The enemy’s student section is at midfield, people. Some Oregon student fans would kill their mothers for 50-yard-line seats.

By the end of the first quarter, the Ducks are up 21-0. This is when students start trickling out. By the end of the third quarter, with Oregon up 42-0, only diehards remained. And there weren’t many.
So, Duck fans, be thankful for what you have. Be thankful for real tickets, instead of the raffle tickets sold by Cal, which make you want to collect four and hop on the Ferris wheel.
Be thankful that you don’t have a pep-rally guy with a speaker leading cheers for the student section, like Cal does. When the Bears scored in the fourth quarter, putting Oregon’s lead at 35 points, this peppy preppy screamed like a schoolgirl into his microphone: “C’mon guys, let’s make some noise! We’ve still got time left!”
Except there wouldn’t be enough time in a year for Cal to come back and beat Oregon. The game was a joke, with Cal as the punch line.
Most of all, Duck fans should be thankful for Duck fans. Even on the road, they are a 12th Oregon man on the field. Even on the road, they stand and cheer for a key third-down stop on defense, or a big run downfield. Even on the road, Duck fans are obnoxious and peaceful at the same time.
Duck fans cheered whenever a group of players took the field for warm-ups. Cal fans cheered louder for their band than their team.
A trip to Berkeley is sort of like seeing your girlfriend’s ugly sister. It makes you appreciate the original.
Next road trip: Wazzu. Woohoo, woop-de-doo. I’ll be there. Will you?