Soft.
Soft is the best word to describe this family. From the voices to the furniture, everything is soft; and that’s not what one would expect of college students or an 11-month-old.
The faces of Kendall Fields, Sean Engel and their daughter Kylah are highlighted in gold by the afternoon sun shining through an open sliding screen door. It’s a simple scene of striking perfection: a family sitting together on the couch, dad picking up daughter and tossing her lightly into the air as she chirps with glee, mom looking on with a serene grin. Their softness could be a symptom of sheer exhaustion, but either way, the view is lovely.
Kendall and Sean, both 20, are University juniors studying journalism and marine biology, respectively. For nearly a year, they have been juggling the overwhelming responsibilities of parenting, studying and working. Before that, they carried the burden of an unexpected not-quite-teen pregnancy.
The two met during their freshman year. Kendall from Sacramento, Calif., and Sean from Bend were typical college kids, having fun with friends, attending concerts and going camping.
“We were a lot more mobile back then. We could be like, ‘We want to go to Portland tonight. OK then, let’s go to Portland,’” Kendall remembers.
But during their sophomore year, Kendall found out she was pregnant. Her typical college experiences changed into new, uncharted ones that were shocking and scary.
“I was excited, but I was a little sad, too, because I was young and I knew that other people were going to judge me. I was going to have to make some really tough decisions — decisions that maybe not all the people around me were going to agree with,” Kendall said, watching Kylah nibble on a Cheerio.
Sean’s reaction to the news was similar, but he had the additional fear of disappointing his family by becoming a statistic.
“At first, I was scared and nervous. I didn’t know what to do. My parents had me when they were in high school, so it’s one of those things that they told me my whole life: ‘Wait to have kids, and don’t do what we did,’” he said, his bright eyes following Kylah as she crawled toward him.
Friends and family were just as shocked as Kendall and Sean. But after a while, their parents were very supportive, as were most of their friends.
However, it was still an isolating experience.
“We found out who our true friends were. I think I sort of put a distance on myself when I was pregnant, because when you’re eight months pregnant, you don’t really want to go out to a party,” Kendall said.
It was also difficult for her to be away from her parents in California during her pregnancy. Kendall and Sean found support through Doulas Supporting Teens, a local nonprofit organization that pairs special labor coaches with pregnant teens. Kendall was the first University student to work with DST, and through it, she discovered the extra support group she needed, as well as important information about labor options. She decided to have an all-natural birth and attributes this decision to the smoothness of her pregnancy and labor.
“I think that keeping my pregnancy really natural helped me tap into my primal mother instincts,” she said. “It’s kind of cool what your body tells you to do. It’s just unconditional love and protection.”
Kendall and Sean both continued to go to school throughout the entire pregnancy. Even during her third trimester, Kendall took online classes and came to campus for tests. And, her instincts actually helped make the transition from student to mother easier on the day she went into labor.
“I had this feeling that I needed to go take all of my finals. I didn’t know why, but I was like, ‘I need to get this done today.’ And I went and took all of my finals, I came home, and I was just not feeling well. And that night, I went into labor,” she said.
Kendall’s labor was a quick and positive experience, and she and Sean were able to find humor even in the throes of labor.
“It was right before Kylah was crowning, and I originally wanted to catch her. So I was getting ready to do that … and I just got this feeling, this feeling like I was really intoxicated. And I ended up getting kind of disoriented and I had to sit down,” Sean said.
But the comedy turned to awe when the two new parents saw Kylah for the first time.
“That feeling — the only word I can use to describe it — is love,” Kendall said. “Pure love.”
Since then, it’s been a challenging but enlightening experience for the young family. Kendall and Sean want to complete school and earn money to give Kylah the life she deserves, so they both work part-time on top of being full-time students and parents. They do not rely on day care, so they have to carefully schedule their time to make sure one of them can stay with Kylah.
“I miss being able to be more carefree, but if I were given a choice to go back to my old life and give her up, I would never,” Kendall said. “She’s worth it. She’s worth all the stress and the juggling.”
Kendall and Sean are engaged, but they don’t plan on getting married until after they graduate because they believe the strength of a relationship shouldn’t be based solely on a title. Kylah has brought a bigger purpose into their lives and changed their understanding of commitment.
“I’m definitely more responsible than I was,” Sean said. “I have different goals now, and I hold myself to a higher standard. Family is definitely more important than it used to be.”
They hope others learn from their story. Kendall hopes girls in similar situations will look into all their labor options and try to find the best approach for their unique needs.
“People need to be aware that there are people just like us that are going through this, and it’s really hard and that we could all use people’s support and the community’s support,” Sean said.
But this courageous couple seems to have found the healthy balance necessary to tackle such an overwhelming situation. Kylah, like her parents, is soft-spoken and sweet, with eyes that reveal her intelligence and understanding of the world around her.
“We hope that she just has a really happy life and she knows that her parents worked really hard to help her have that happy life. I just want the best for her,” Kendall said, as she smiled goofily at Kylah.
Kylah looks up at her mom and then back down at the seven remaining Cheerios sitting on a leather ottoman in the middle of the living room. She picks up one of the Cheerios, examines the sunshine pouring through the cereal’s tiny hole, and then launches it across the room. The Cheerio silently falls onto the soft beige carpet, and Kylah crawls over to it, inspecting it once more before placing it carefully in her mouth and grinning.
A normal scene, but made even more precious by the extraordinary circumstances.

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