Lena Gamper is a 19-year-old college student from Stuttgart, Germany, who is spending part of her summer in Eugene visiting family. This is the final article in a five-part series examining the cultural differences between Germany and Eugene (and America as a whole).
I know many Americans love their breakfast dearly, so sorry if I hurt anybody’s feelings by still calling the main meal of the day to be dinner in the U.S. That already leads us to a major disparity concerning dinner habits between both countries: In Germany, the main meal usually is lunch. Unlike most Americans, who often just have a snack or a sandwich for lunch, the German families gather around the table and have a full, warm meal.
You might wonder how that can be possible when kids are in school and parents at work? Because schools in Germany dismiss all students at lunchtime, and they are most often done for the day as well, they are enabled to go home for lunch every day.
Moreover, business hours in Germany differ a lot from here in the U.S. Not only on Sundays you would find everything shut down, but also a majority of the businesses, as for instance the bank and the post office, would be closed from 1 to 3 pm. As a result, all of the family can get together and enjoy the main meal of the day.
Taking that in account, dinner in Germany mostly consists of only a cold sort of buffet: some bread, sausages, a little cheese, raw vegetables and maybe leftovers — that’s it.
With that as the case, I have a though time getting used to a quite different schedule while living here in Eugene over the summer. Especially talking about the casualness of going out for dinner all the time. Even on weeknights, it is not uncommon to go out to eat.
Although going out for dinner in America is on one side paradise to me, as it is amazingly costumer-oriented; on the other side it is lacking the good old German “Gemuetlichkeit.”
Unfortunately, the English language can’t provide an equivalent word for it, and it is something you have to have felt rather than having me trying to translate it as the combination of people, mood and place. “Gemuetlichkeit” is also the reason for some evolving stereotypes and quiet funny misunderstandings that would occur when both dining habits encounter.
How come?
Restaurants here open up a whole new chapter of differences with Germany. And only to straighten this out in advance: I am not talking about a German McDonald’s or a German Subway. No, you Americans, I have to disappoint you. Even if they are located in a different place doesn’t make them any different than at home. They won’t suddenly serve schnitzel and sauerkraut there, trust me. They will be the same thing everywhere you go; that’s the boring part about chains, remember? Spreading all over the planet like a bulldozer, wiping out the cultural distinctiveness.
I shouldn’t wander off the topic though. Here is, as promised in the headline, the German Dining 101 for Americans:
“Where is the waiter and where is the water?”
If you are waiting for somebody to bring a pitcher of water and maybe additionally a basket of bread to your table, you will be waiting until you are turning black (German saying; “turning black” refers to a dead body).
Once you realized this and you finally order your water, don’t be surprised to find yourself saying later on:
“I didn’t order sparkling water!?”
You probably didn’t. But in Germany we consider water most often as “Sprudel,” which is carbonated.
Furthermore, here is what you should keep in mind for drinks in general: Your drink won’t come with ice. Not as long as you don’t intentionally ask for it. And if you do ask for some ice for you drink, please don’t order it followingly:
“… with ice please.”
If you still do so, don’t be surprised if there still won’t be no ice in your drink, but instead a cup of ice cream on your table all of a sudden. (In German: ice cream= Eis; ice cubes= Eiswürfel)
While eating your meal, you will at a certain point start to wonder:
“The waiter doesn’t show his face for refills very often, doesn’t he?”
And again, you are probably right with that. It is regarded as impolite if you disturb your costumer during his meal for no good reason. That’s why they try to be as invisible as possible. So if you happen to need something, you will have to give your waiter a sign. However, you might not need to do that for refills though, because we don’t have included refilling anyway.
“Did he bring the bill yet?”
Once more, I have to admit that your guess is right. Unless you don’t ask for the bill, the waiter won’t show up with it. On the contrary, it would be a rude gesture to them, because they want you to stay as long as possible and have a couple more drinks while talking. And plus, drinks are what they make their most money on, so of course they won’t rush you.
Now you are almost ready to have the German culinary experience and explore what “Gemuetlichkeit” is all about. There is only one more thing you urgently need to know. It is very important to Germans:
When you toast, always make sure your eyes meet in the moment your glasses clink!
Not only that Germans would be offended if you didn’t, but also for your own sake. As a popular German saying goes, it will bring 7 years of bad sex for you!