I try to avoid discussing politics in this column, in part because this is the entertainment section, in part because whenever I do, fewer people seem to like me afterward. But, to Hell with that. Sometimes I just got to vent a little. I promise it won’t last longer than a paragraph, and then we can talk about something boring and meaningless.
My current venting stems from the recent stepping down of Federal Communication Commission chairman Michael Powell. This man and his smug, self-satisfied smile have done nothing but piss me off since his ascendancy to the FCC throne. He is a despicable little hypocrite, a greedy, money-grubbing bastard whose level of corruption is disguised by a thin mask of a moral defender. I hate him, I hate what he stands for and if I had a chance to spit on him, I would not hesitate. There is a special place in Hell reserved for him where all of his sins against our culture will be punished for all eternity. My only regret is that I am certain another simpering little son-of-a-bitch will become his replacement.
There. That felt good.
Now for that boring and meaningless thing that I promised we’d talk about: the Oscar nominations. Every year these roll around and every year I care that much less. This year’s nominations are certainly for deserving movies, within the scope of the Oscars anyway, and are so obvious as to be pretty mundane.
The best picture awards are for critical and audience favorites across the board. “The Aviator” and “Million Dollar Baby” are the probable wins, and their directors are the probable winners for that category. (It would be funny to see Scorsese lose to an actor for the third time. I mean funny in the sense that I will die a little more inside. That kind
of funny.)
The acting nominees are also pretty obvious picks, and nobody really cares who wins. Same with the actresses. And supporting actors and actresses. Dull, dull, dull. Everything a safe bet, nothing terribly interesting. Unlike many critics, I’m not going to go on some tangent about what deserved to be nominated, nor am I going to champion some small film me and three other people have heard about. In the long run, the Oscars are meaningless to cinema. The real fun comes from watching the ceremony and placing bets with your friends, which is what I do.
But since this is still sort of a big event, I might as well talk a bit
about some of the nominations.
The animation category will probably piss the most people off, what with a piece of crap like “Shark Tale” getting nominated. “Kinsey” got royally snubbed on a variety of levels, as did “Fahrenheit 9/11,” though what would it get nominated for and who really gives a crap about it? While we’re on the contentious film front, “The Passion of the Christ” got three technical noms (apparently the word of God isn’t good enough for a screenplay nomination), maybe one of which is actually deserved.
The best original songs are the usual collection of sentimental crap. “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” was nominated for best screenplay. It should win just so we can all have the joy of watching Charlie Kaufman’s acceptance speech.
What else? Nothing? Oh, okay. Well, I guess that’s all. Have a good week, folks.
Oh, and screw Michael Powell. He really sucks.

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