Wedding bells are ringing, and while the bride-to-be is busy trying on every white dress in town, there is one thought going through the groom’s mind: “What am I supposed to do?”
“Show up,” freshman Michelle Blake said. “He’d better be at that altar.”
While getting to the altar is arguably one of the most important aspects of a wedding, the groom has many other obligations to fulfill before saying, “I do.”
Traditionally, the bride does the bulk of the wedding planning, but the groom has responsibilities, many of which have not changed through time.
“The main thing is the groom needs to buy the rings,” said Jo Dial of The Wedding Solution.
Buying the rings entails buying both the engagement ring and the wedding band for the bride. The bride traditionally buys the groom’s wedding ring in return. According to information from global market survey company NPD Group, wedding bands are usually purchased six months prior to the wedding.
Seventy-four-year-old Jake Hertz said he feels the bride and the groom should pick out the engagement ring together, so they are both happy with the choice. Hertz also said for the proposal, the groom should “definitely bend the knee, because it makes the bride feel extra special.”
Hertz married his first wife in the 1950s, when the bride and groom had to bring a copy of their marriage license with them on their honeymoon so they could prove to hotels they were married.
Like Hertz did decades ago, groom-to-be Jerod Brown bought the engagement ring, but without help from his fiancé. But he has other obligations as well.
“My job is to find the tuxes, get her addresses for invitations and plan the honeymoon — my favorite part,” Brown said with a smile. “With everything else, I either say, ‘Whatever you want,’ or I just smile and get out of the way.”
He said the hardest part for him is sympathizing with his fiancé, because things that seem important to her do not make much sense to him.
The groom also pays for the marriage license, as well as the clergyman or judge who conducts the wedding. In Oregon, a marriage license costs $60, and there is a three-day waiting period before the marriage license is valid.
Other imperatives include paying for the honeymoon and buying corsages for both mothers and boutonnieres for the men in the wedding party.
The groom is also expected to take care of his groomsmen. In addition to purchasing them each a gift, the groom also pays for out-of-town accommodations for his groomsmen and their families. However, this does not include airfare. He also pays for the gloves, ties and accessories.
“As bad as all this may sound, preparing for the wedding is not as bad as people told me it would be,” Brown said. “I think it is mostly because of the fact that I love (my fiancee) and I want her to be happy.”
Brown said although wedding planning may be hectic, the rewards make it worth the time.
“When I think about how I am going to be able to come home to this woman every day and enjoy the rest of my life with her, it makes everything that is happening now more worthwhile than almost anything I have ever done,” he said.
Finally, the groom buys a wedding present for his bride-to-be, as well as the going away bouquet for the bride.
“Other than that, the groom is just supposed to be there, look happy and be the man of the hour,” Dial said.
Hertz had some final advice for grooms.
“Be patient and forget any past relationships either might have had — that is history!” he said. “Give her lots of loving and treat her right.”