I don’t remember, did Janet Jackson have a pair of red horns protruding from her head during the Super Bowl halftime show? Did she carry a pitchfork instead of a microphone?

Poor Janet. Since Feb. 1, she’s been blamed for everything from sex scenes in movies to the Haitian rebellion.
Her latest offense, apparently, is getting Howard Stern booted from the airwaves. Last week, media conglomerate Clear Channel Communications dropped the shock jock from its phalanx of radio hosts (though his show continues to be syndicated and available in several markets). Stern immediately dropped Jackson.
“They’ve been after me since 1992 and they’re having their way with me,” Stern told Reuters news service. “Then Janet Jackson whipped out her boob and it’s all over.”
We’re watching media theory in action these days, and it’s about to get uglier than Ron Jeremy. With Congress and President George W. Bush both decrying indecency in the media, soon we’re going to dive hands-first into Lake Morality. Soon we’re going to start violating free speech, one of the greatest freedoms we’re afforded in this country.
I’m not a big Howard Stern fan; I think anybody with a brain bigger than a walnut can see through his humor. But he’s occasionally funny and he’s popular. Heck, he’s probably the only radio host with his own movie (the classic “Private Parts”).
Clear Channel’s official stance is that Stern was dropped because of some offensive banter with Rick Solomon, the man who knows Paris Hilton better than the rest of us. I’ve read the transcript, and without going into much detail, it doesn’t seem much more offensive than the schlock Stern normally spews. One caller used a very offensive word, but you can’t blame the host for his lame callers.
Stern’s theory is that Clear Channel dumped him because they wanted to wash their hands of him and use extra soap. On Thursday, Clear Channel executives appeared in front of a congressional committee hearing on indecency in the media.
This is where the red light goes on in my head. If Clear Channel wants to ax Stern for business reasons, that’s fine. If he lost popularity or crossed the final line of indecency, great. Drop him. But if they cut him because of pressure from Congress, that’s wrong.
I want our culture to tone down the indecency a bit. I’m not a conservative dude, but I think about raising a son or daughter in a world of exposed breasts and graphically sexual radio programs, and I shudder.
But I want decency to happen naturally.
That’s the beauty of living with capitalism. If we stop listening to Howard Stern, maybe he’ll turn the volume down on his loud-mouthed act. If we stop buying Christina Aguilera’s albums, maybe she’ll put some clothes on.
If we protest indecency in the media, it will disappear. But we don’t need the government to help us out. We can’t have the government set the line of what’s moral and what isn’t. Because that line is where capitalism ends and communism begins.
That’s right, Janet Jackson is a communist. Wait, maybe not. But I still blame her for that uprising in Haiti.