My softball team, the Cheesy Bacon Fries, suffered a tough first-round loss in the softball intramurals last week. We went down swinging at least, which was more than we were doing in the first three innings. We made a couple errors. As pitcher, I only gave up one in-the-park home run, or at least I stopped counting after that. And I only let the ball roll through my legs once to the shortstop. Yeah, the Bad News Bears may have given us a run for our money that day, but I couldn’t have cared less. I’ve never had so much fun on an intramural team. One of the players made a joke that we needed to really practice hard in the off-season. The sad thing is this was the Cheesy Bacon Fries’ farewell season because most of us are graduating. There won’t be another time to argue over who’s up next and who’s going to make the third out. There are a few more chances to go to Burger ‘n Brew night, but we won’t all be talking about those close calls that didn’t go our way. It’s all coming to an end.
I’ve never seen my friends more scared in all my life. I maybe have never been so scared. We all talk in bipolar terms. “Where are you going to live?” One minute Portland, the next minute Chicago, the next day Austin. “What do you want to do?” I want to design, I want to write, I want to travel.
It is so hard to decide. I’ve actually begun to envy those who are going to graduate school! Apply in the fall, hear back in the spring, and all summer you have the satisfaction of knowing where you’re going. But some of us aren’t ready to go back to the books. We want a break and a taste of the big city. We want to work for the man. Unfortunately, the man isn’t always hiring.
Now with a degree under your belt, you’re stuck in the middle. The job you worked part time in college just isn’t good enough anymore, but you’re willing to move to the business down the street. It’s a job at least, and you somehow find justification of why it would be a great résumé builder. But after interviewing, you learn the compensation is a little less than what you made at your part-time job. Maybe you’ll try somewhere else.
It hurts to turn down a job, especially when securing one is your main goal. But sometimes you know a job just isn’t right. Like when they ask you to make a list of your closest friends and relatives, to whom they want you to sell insurance. This happened to me. I stood with the sheet, looking at my friend, trying to figure out which mutual fund was best for him. “Average income? Zero. Household payment? Lives with girlfriend. Employer? None.” I suggested since he was unemployed that he really needed to look into some health insurance. We both laughed and then I called the office and declined the next interview.
Interviews just intensify the nervous feeling you constantly have. You always try to walk in confidently, but at the back of your mind you’re always thinking, “I really need a job so I can pay for this suit I’m wearing.” The salesman inside begins to take over as you talk about your résumé and ultimately end up stressing your great personality.
One time I sat in an interview where the employer was talking about people who have the “whole package.” She looked at my résumé, saying she really liked it. I felt pretty good, until she said, “I just really love these colors you’ve used. Your résumé is so pretty.” Eventually she got to reading the actual words on the résumé. She liked what she saw, and started explaining how you have to have the “whole package” to get a job these days. She thought I had it, citing my “pretty” résumé and professional dress. Then she did the most appalling thing. Making a reference to the girl who had walked out of the interview before mine, she said, “Like Jenny. She’s really nice, but she doesn’t have the whole package. You have to be cute and smart.” At that point I decided to skip my question about if the issue of sacrificing personal ethics ever came up at her job. All I could think was, “I wonder if she’ll notice if I glance down at my watch.” I turned my head and glared at the door. All I wanted was a way out.
Some of us will move back in with our parents. To those people I wish the most luck. Some of us will take that job we didn’t want and suffer through it for a few months until it finally gets to us. Some of us will continue to look for something, living off a rationed box of Raisin Bran, which we eat for three meals a day. Some of us will crash at our friend’s place, realizing futons really make for horrible beds and couches. But probably all of us will end up ordering cheesy bacon fries at Rennie’s the last week, talking about what we’ve decided to do. And one day we’ll look back at that night, never remembering the fear we had at that moment, but remembering the friends and food that accompanied us.
Sometimes in life you drop the ball or you swing and miss, but in the end you’ll realize that what’s most important is the people who were there supporting you. I know it sounds cheesy (how appropriate), but it’s true.
Good season, Cheesy Bacon Fries. Now go get ’em.