Like many Americans across the country, I spent election night anxiously watching John King point at the U.S. map plastered with blocks of red and blue, wondering whether my cynicism of the general American public was right and if the naivete of my friend’s perception of democracy was about to come crashing down. 

Since the start of the electoral cycle, I have been steadfast with my election predictions. I had dismal hope for the Harris campaign to win the presidency, but I kept my hope for keeping the House blue. That being said, I committed to working on a campaign, phone-banked and text-banked for other campaigns and was keenly aware of the elections happening around me. 

Internally, I predicted Trump’s victory early on, with the evidence lying within the uncertainty of the economy for everyday Americans. When I was phone banking for candidates within swing districts, one issue always came up with unaffiliated voters that united everyone no matter their identity: the economy impacts everyone, maybe not in the same way, but we all felt the impacts of rising prices. 

I would argue that Harris was never given a genuine chance to campaign. She was given only a couple of months to fundraise and build a grassroots campaign, and it felt like a tool to popularize down-ballot Democratic races in a fleeting hope of winning back competitive seats in the Senate or the House, something that was not a remote possibility under Biden’s presidency. 

The lackluster hope changed when I voted for Kamala Harris, who represented everything I would have hoped for my younger self. Voting for Harris felt like a direct confirmation to my younger self that a woman of color could genuinely achieve the American dream and young girls across America would have someone to look up to when looking at the generic presidency posters in elementary school classrooms, which was something I had always wanted. 

This election touched me to the core; I have fallen in love with America since I moved here at the age of one and kept that hope alive through the 19 long years on my path to citizenship. 

I became involved with politics, not through the sheer interest cultivated through reading the news but through necessity. I knew that if I would like to see a change anywhere, it would have to start by getting involved with local government. 

Although voting apathy has been rising for younger voters, especially in local elections, I have been waiting for the day I could cast a ballot. It was a privilege to cast my ballot for someone who represented a future of hope for me.

Trump’s presidency may not directly impact my day-to-day life, but assuming that the rule of law and federalism still exist, I can’t help but feel for the thousands of women who are dying due to improper reproductive medical care, for DACA recipients and dreamers who are unsure of what happens next, and for the students from my high school who depend on the district to fund breakfast and lunches might not see any more federal funding. 

However, through the night of Nov. 5, it became more apparent that Harris’s hopeful vision was being left behind. More of my peers began discussing leaving the country and falling into utter despair about the future of this country. 

Unlike many of my peers, however, I took an oath in April. An oath that stated I would uphold and protect the Constitution, defend these principles from any domestic or foreign threats and promise loyalty to the institutions of this state. 

And on the night of Nov. 5, I have never been more relieved that I took my oath of naturalization with President Biden congratulating me; a president who had made me proud to hold the American flag and share the title of citizen with him.

I supported, and will continue to support, the institutions that allowed us to stand out and give us a voice, even when it felt like a complete tokenization of our experiences. Maybe this is where I fail to see my own naivete, but without this hope, how can we even fathom change?

Starting Jan. 20, America faces a choice: either we lose hope in the institutions, guard rails and structures that are fundamental to this country, or we hold faith and fight for what so many people have fought for in the past. The fight begins for the soul of this nation, democracy and justice, and the soul of American identity; a fight that transcends party lines.