Dear James Cameron,
Hey, Jim! Congrats, man, on descending into the deepest part of the ocean, the Marianas Trench@@can be written with or without an ‘s’ http://www.fws.gov/marianastrenchmarinemonument/@@! You even managed to tweet from there, which I’m sure cost an ungodly amount of money, but hey, you got it, right?
I’m writing to you because I am one of the probably millions of people who will be lining up at movie theaters all over the place to see your “new” release, “Titanic 3-D.”@@http://bostonglobe.com/arts/movies/2012/04/05/titanic-gets-added-dimension-the-bigger-better/89l5eh543zm1V59IOmmRhP/story.html@@ It’s going to be my first 3-D movie!
After “Avatar” became the biggest movie in the history of forever, I’m sure your studio jumped at the chance to reboot the second-biggest movie in the history of forever. It makes sense to come out with it now, seeing as the 100th anniversary of the Titanic’s sinking is coming up on April 15@@http://www.kidzworld.com/article/5529-the-titanic-history@@. And sales from “Avatar” are probably finally dwindling now, so it’ll be nice to have such a huge influx of cash, won’t it?
I’m super excited to see “Titanic” in a movie theater, because, of course, I missed it the first time around, having been only 6. I thought you might re-release it for the 10th anniversary of the original movie release, but the timing makes much more sense now.
The movie has been a part of my pop culture lexicon for as long as I can remember; in fact, it was probably the first adult movie that I had ever heard of (being the oldest child, my parents were rather strict about what I could and couldn’t watch. My first PG-13 movie was “Maid in Manhattan,” unfortunately.) “My Heart Will Go On” was played at least three times a year in elementary school talent shows by aspiring pianists. (Full disclosure: I once cried myself to sleep listening to that song on my iPod a full three years before I saw the movie.) Whispers of a naked Kate Winslet@@spelled right@@ permeated our slumber parties. The image of a hand sliding down the steamy car window was burned into my brain years before I ever saw the actual movie. Hell, I didn’t know the word “fiance” until a neighbor girl was explaining Kate and the evil Cal.
It wasn’t until I was in eighth grade that I actually sat down and watched the film. Three hours later I was weeping into my best friend’s arms, asking over and over again why Kate didn’t just let Jack onto that enormous slab of wood she was floating on. He totally could have lived! He didn’t have to sink down into those freezing depths of the North Atlantic! You selfish bitch!
I’m getting off topic. I’m sure your 3-D version will be perfect and classy and generally amazing, but what I’m concerned about is that this is going to start a trend. We have enough sequels and remakes and re-remakes floating around in Hollywood right now. Is this going to be the beginning of a flurry of 3-D releases of old movies? “Star Wars” is on the way too, after all.
And I really hope the 3-D doesn’t cheapen the story. I’m not old-fashioned about many things, but I am about this. Yes, we’ve already entertainified (just invented that word!) the Titanic disaster by making a million movies about it, but I’m worried that adding in all the extras will take away from the fact that 1,500 people lost their lives. That is the point of the movie, after all.
But who am I kidding? All of these concerns won’t prevent me from forking over $15 for the full 3-D experience. Let’s face it: It’s your world, and we’re all just living in it.
Yours sincerely,
McKenna Brown